Where is Christmas?

WHERE IS CHRISTMAS?    by   Janet Baird Weisiger    


It was December, 2010.  She sat in the wheelchair staring at the Christmas tree.  The tiny white lights gleamed cheerfully on the 5 foot tall green artificial tree, decorated with numerous hand-made ornaments.  She couldn't help smiling as she silently thanked the grandchildren who had come on Saturday to decorate the condo.

The kids had laughed and joked as they hoisted the tree from the storage area and manuevered it up the staircase.  Their excitement at unwrapping cherished ornaments lit the room with energy.  Discovering decades old family decorations caused much chatter and wonder.

     "Mommy played with this?"

     "Oh, this is sooo pretty!"

Through all their bustle and activity she sat there, unable to hang one ornament, too weak to place the nativity in a place of honor.

The decorating did not take long.  The kids packed away the bags and boxes and left.  The house was quiet again.

She looked around the room, ready and decorated for Christmas.  Tears filled her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.

     "I can't do anything," she whined.  "Oh, how I always loved Christmas!......Can I still love it now?"

Memories flooded her brain.  Christmas over the past decades filled with activity.  Buying precious gifts for the children, then hiding them until Christmas Day.  Inviting friends in and singing "Happy Birthday" to Jesus.

The Christmas we bought a puppy and placed her in the playpen where the children wouldn't see her until Christmas morning.
Joining with friends to sing Christmas carols through the neighborhood.

Baking tons of cookies and decorating them as stars, Christmas trees, angels, and wreaths.  Fashioning home-made gifts for neighbors, family and friends.  Singing many concerts and reveling in the joyous sounds of Christmas.  Hosting 'open houses' and making homemade eggnog with candles flickering in the windows.

Parties!  Oh, yes, parties.  Going to parties throughout the month of December!

She sighed remembering previous Christmases and knowing none of that would happen this year of 2010.

It had all changed in June.  Her once healthy body had suddenly been attacked by cancer....a frightening word, a devastating diagnosis.  Where did this come from?  How could this have hit her?  What had she done?

Yes, the oncologist told her on July 8 that she had a rare, aggressive brain cancer and she would only live for "seven weeks"!  She remembered that moment.  Much to her surprise she had responded to the doctor's dire pronouncment by saying loud and clear, "Praise God!"

The Christmas lights blurred in her vision now as she remembered that time.  Through her tears she now smiled with joy.  Why she was supposed to be dead by now.  But here she was, alive after four long months in the hospital tolerating a dozen chemotherapy sessions.  And the chemo would continue for another year!  Could she hold on?  What plan did God have for her?

Oh, yes, this Christmas was special.  In May, six weeks before the cancer diagnosis, she had seen Jesus.  He had visited her in the middle of the night with a message.  He sat on his throne, glistening with gold, holding a golden sphere in his left hand, and told her in a voice filled with power, authority and love, "You will be healed, BUT in my time frame."  The words had been visible, scrolling across in front of her and she believed.  She believed, but did not understand.  She believed, but questioned how and when.

And here she was, helplessly sitting in a wheelchair, unable to walk, unable to use her right arm, struggling to speak, emotionally unstable, crying easily, exhausted after simple tasks...... and asking, "Where is Christmas for me?"

Her eyes focused on the simple creche treasured in the family for many years.  And then she began to realize where Christmas was.  It was not in the busyness, the parties, the hectic schedule, the gift-giving, the baking.  No, Christmas was in Jesus!  Yes, only Jesus.  He had healed her, was continuing to heal her.  The MRIs were clear.  The doctors could not find any more cancer!

Her physical therapy was progressing well.  The Lord had given her determination and a positive attitude and an undying faith.  She had Jesus and that was all that mattered.

She decided right then she would spend this Christmas season of 2010 listening to Christmas music and rejoicing in Jesus.  She realized that is what He had always wanted her to do.  Christmas was right here with Him.

(I was that woman and this is my story.)