Praise the Lord!

She looked at the pictures and marveled.  "I look normal!", she exclaimed with astonishment. " How can that be?  The doctors said I only had seven weeks to live!  I was in a wheelchair for almost a year!  I couldn't blink my eye,.....couldn't move my right side at all,....couldn't even move my tongue to the right side of my mouth,...could barely speak,....short visits from family or friends left me exhausted,....2-3 hour daily naps,.....Wow, I've come a long way!"

The photos shone back to her.  Clear illuminating reflections of a woman clearly at peace.  She kept  staring at the various photos taken by the photographer from the Grand Rapids Press and posted on MLIVE.  And in contrast, all the memories and traumatic events of the past 3 years flooded back through her mind. She  still could hardly believe that she survived the ravages of brain cancer and continued to physically improve.

Then she flashed back to 'iphotos' and reviewed the photos Dick had taken when she was in Upstate Hospital in Syracuse.  She had not had the courage to review these photos for 3 years but she thought now is the time.  She felt stronger and knew she had to do this.  BUT, now, looking at the hospital photos, she was shocked!  These pictures showed a very sick woman lying in a hospital bed with a crooked smile, glazed deep set darkened eyes, unkempt messy hair, shaved bald area on the top of her head where they had done the brain biopsy, edematous feet and legs, arm in a supportive sling, IV tubes, nasal oxygen, struggling to appear 'normal'.  Ugh!

The tears rolled down her cheeks.  Sobs welled up.  How could anyone have loved her during that time?  She remembered she had been very ill but now she saw the reality and that was frightening. Dick  came to her side to comfort her.  "Remember, they told you 'seven weeks to live'.  But you're alive!  Look at how far you've come!  And I never stopped loving you."  Dick's words broke with emotion.

They both looked at each other and smiled.  "God is so good! I will always praise Him!"

"When did you get to the point that you realized I was not going to die in 7 weeks?"  She asked Dick.  "I saw you getting better, not worse," he responded. "There was one incident, however, that was pretty scary...do you remember?"

Ah, yes, she remembered.  About 10 days after the brain cancer diagnosis, the medical team gave her steroids to accelerate the healing process.  That evening she suddenly became acutely confused and was unable to speak or blurt out her name.  She remembered the nurse running from her room to notify the doctors who responded in minutes.  More questions, more confusion.  She remembered feeling frightened as she made unintelligible noises.  And then more medicine to counter the steroid.  Then hearing Dick and Carin crying.  She knew what was happening but had no control over the situation.

Then things began to settle as she uttered her own name.  The nursing staff relaxed.  Carin stayed with her that night as Dick was wisely sent back to Glenn's for rest.  Carin climbed onto the bed next to her and cried. Wrapping her left arm around Carin, she softly stammered, "Everything is going to be alright.  Jesus is here."  Here she was the patient, but with the power of God's amazing presence, she comforted her grown child like she had done years ago.

She began to think of all the suffering in the world.  She thought of friends dying of cancer or cardiac problems or other medical conditions.  She thought of the recent monster tragedy in Boston where athletes and bystanders had lost limbs.  Disease, accidents, violence changes lives forever.  She knew many would question the existence of God in the evil happenings of our current times.  But she also knew with certainty that God DID exist.  His love showed in the compassion of supporters in Boston.  His love showed through in prayers lifted for her healing.

Jesus was alive and well in this world.  The Enemy was 'prowling like a roaring lion' but she knew God has the last word.  God would win in the end.

This bout with cancer and its residual physical challenges had given her greater faith and trust in Jesus than she had ever known.  She had recently heard of a young man who was in a wheelchair because of an auto accident.  His comment to observers was "This was the best thing that happened to me."  Wow! When she heard that, she questioned her own situation.  Could she honestly say what he said?

She also thought of their dear friend and pastor, Bruce Hoffman, who had suffered and died of brain cancer the same time she was struggling with cancer.  His faith was so strong and he never uttered those words, "Why me?"  Instead, Bruce trusted in Jesus and knew that God's wisdom overshadowed all earthly reasoning.

Over the past 3 years she had often wondered, "Why me?"  And also, "What purpose do you see in this, Lord?" And now she was experiencing over and over again the healing, love and care of Jesus.  It made her realize no human can fully understand the ultimate wisdom and plan that God has ordained for our lives.

She also knew something else very important.  When she spent prayer time praising the Lord she felt exhilaration.  When she stood in church on Sunday mornings and sang songs of praise and worship she actually experienced physical healing.  That was the key!  To focus on Jesus and all He has done for her and brought her out of self pity, worry, fear and stress.  She then vowed to keep praising!

"Praise the Lord!  Praise the Lord, O my soul!  I will praise the Lord as long as I live;    I will sing praises to my God while I have being."  Psalm 146