Never Give Up!

Would she ever forget those first few weeks when she was diagnosed with cancer of the brain?  Those  memories kept bouncing around in her mind.  She could not forget.  She now realized God allowed her to keep those memories to learn something, to help someone, to actually keep track of her progress since those horrendous days of late June and early July of 2010.

She vividly recalled the morning after the brain biopsy.  She sat in her hospital bed, feeling overwhelmed, confused and afraid.  Just the previous evening she had been told "You have a lethal, aggressive cancer in your brain.  You have seven weeks to live!"

So as she sat there that morning, she wondered, what was going to happen???

Then the group of doctors entered on 'morning rounds'.  As a nurse she knew this was routine and a means to communicate with the other doctors the status of each patient.  The brain surgeon was the last to arrive.  He quickly stood in place with the other six doctors (and probably, student interns) and announced, "She has no use of her right arm because of the brain biopsy."

She heard the words but silently thought, "But Jesus told me I would be healed, BUT in His own time frame."  She knew the arm was non-functioning now, but what about the future???

Then the usual post operative questions.  "What is your name?"  "Where are you?"  "Who is President of the USA?"

She suddenly was stomped!  Oh, what was his name?  She remembered it started with an "O".  But what was his name?  She could not remember!  Then, she blurted out, "Osama bin Laden"!

The doctors roared with laughter.  Oh, she thought, "I have failed!  I can't remember the name of our President!"

She started to weep, depressed over the situation. After all, the medical staff had laughed.

More questions followed but the weeping turned to sobbing and she was unable to answer any more questions.  The doctors silently left the room.  She was at the depths of her emotions and she began to wonder if things would ever be alright again.

Yes, she remembered those awful days.  But what she had learned!  First and foremost she had experienced the reality of Jesus.  At the depths of her emotional struggles and the physical challenges He had been there!

(And finally, within a few months she remembered the name of the President of the USA - Barack Hussein Obama!)

Now here she was in May, 2013 and still facing physical challenges.  BUT, she never gave up.  She refused to give up.  Things were improving.... and she was convinced it was because of her determination and God's presence.  For example, she was thrilled that just yesterday, at their lake house, she vacuumed the kitchen, utility room and the wood floor of the great room!  Of course, Dick had helped by getting the vacuum cleaner out of the closet BUT she did it!  She laughed as she realized how silly this must sound to women who dread vacuuming.  But she knew that the more she took on normal household chores, the healthier she would feel.  And she was exultant that she could even clean toilets and bathroom sinks!  (How hilarious!)

She remembered how Dick had said a year ago, "I look forward to the day when you can carry your own dishes to the sink."  And now here she was in May, 2013, cooking most of their dinners (with Dick's assistance), planning their meals, cleaning counters, setting the table!  She began to look forward to hosting dinner parties once again.

Another huge accomplishment was the way she climbed up and down stairs.  Not perfect, but, she could now alternate feet on the steps.  This was big and she rejoiced!  Of course, none of this was easy but she kept pursuing perfection.  As the days sped along she kept asking herself, "Try this, Janet.  Bet you can do it." And she did!  Just yesterday afternoon she even planted two pansy plants in her front planters.  With one hand, but she did it!

And the right arm was beginning to perform slight functions. I will not give up, she repeated.  With God's help I will not give up!  During the past two weeks she had taken several trips to the super market.  For the first time she had been able to place both hands on the grocery cart, which helped her balance, and steer the cart around the store.  She could even pick out the products off the shelves.  Her walking was improving and getting faster, without horrible fatigue, so she knew she was getting better!

Then, for the first time since May of 2010, she paid for the groceries with her credit card, all by herself! Wow!  She certainly had come a long way from "seven weeks to live"!  Sure, she still had a long way to go.  She still couldn't drive, couldn't live alone, but God in His great mercy and love had chosen her to live a while longer to accomplish His purposes.  How she wanted to encourage others with physical challenges.  Don't give up!  Never give up!  God will encourage you, stand by you, comfort you and love you.

"Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."     Joshua 1: 9