On May 6, 2020, at 10:30 p.m. I held my husband's face in my hands for the last time. After 61 years of precious marriage, he died at one moment and drew his last breath. It is a shocking moment when death enters the life of your loved one, especially when it's totally unexpected. You hear the sounds of raspy breathing and you wonder, "Is this it? Is this the end of a life I've come to know and love with acceptance?" And then the breathing suddenly stops....no more gasps, no more intakes, just finality of silence. You desperately place your hand on his mouth and wait for intakes........but there is nothing......just finality of silence. I hesitated to call the professional staff, instead to choose these sweet moments of silence of remembering how we lived our lives with such gratitude and intimacy. How he would purse his lips and blow me a kiss, always reminding me of how much he loved me as we sat there in our black leather lounge chairs, glancing over at each other never forgetting the importance of a meaningful blown kiss. And now silence, as I ran my hand over his cheek and gently repeated "I love you, Dick......always and forever, I love you." The cheek remained warm to my touch as his body circulation still took a long time to shut down. That gave me joy as I knew his physical body ever slowly ceased to pulsate. He was still with me, physically, reminding me of our life together. Spiritually, his soul entered a new phase of life as he found himself wrapped in the arms of Jesus. We had frequently talked about this and with absolute certainty, Dick knew where he was going...into the secure arms of His Saviour.
And now, as I continued to gently smooth his face with my hand, I knew I was gently and lovingly saying "Goodbye". Dick was older than I when we married, I was 22 years and he was 29 years. So, I sort of knew, over the years, I would probably outlive him. But all those years as we loved each other and held on to each other, I never seriously thought about outliving him. The moment had now come. I would now outlive him.....for how many years?
With the horrendous outcome of corona virus, I am not even allowed to visit with my family during the days of grief and 'isolation' because I, for one, have been diagnosed with this newly diagnosed virus. I have been talking on the phone daily but it's not the same as hugs and teary responses. Unfortunately, the corona virus made me terribly ill myself with daily temperature elevations and the critical phase of total physical sickly manifestations. Here I was in deep grief with losing my husband at the same time as managing overwhelming corona virus sickness . Days went by as I suffered emotionally and physically. I even wondered if I would survive. But God has a plan and I have known how real and vital His plan is. Just 10 years ago I suffered from inoperable brain cancer and now I survived another all encompassing serious physical ailment. Days were confusing, time lapses unexplainable as the temperature variations continued. Ten years ago medical professionals told me I had 7 weeks to live. And then, miracles of miracles, Jesus appeared to me and said "You will be healed" and here I am......another act of God's amazing providence. True, I was left with right-sided weakness but alive and able to live out God's purpose for my life!
It's been over a week now since I said "Goodbye" to Dick. His body has been cremated. within 4 days of death, which is a decision we made 20 years ago. Having made the decision to dwell in our lakeside home in Elgin, ONT upon retirement, we knew it would facilitate death matters when crossing international lines. So now his ashes sit in an urn where they will ultimately be placed in the Wyckoff Reformed Church, NJ cemetery in the Weisiger family plot, along side my ashes.
Now my grief is settling down, never over, but now a quiet grief that will live in my heart forever, as my one true love dwells in Heaven awaiting my arrival. "I love you, Dick.....always and forever, I love you."
Sunday, May 17, 2020
Sunday, April 19, 2020
Needs or Wants?
This corona virus has presented a unique, horrible time in our lives. As a mid-eighty year old I can honestly say, without hesitation, this health situation is the most devastating in a lifetime. All ages are fearful. All ages are in confusion as our lives have been put on halt. Schedules obliterated, relationships technical rather than personal, too much time on our hands, and a feeling of helplessness overwhelms us. Senior citizens are in a risky position as many of us have underlying negative health issues. When we hear the death rate of those affected in nursing homes, it is scary.
Dick and I live in a senior facility for Assisted Living and Memory Care. We realize we are more prone to corona virus. However, we are blessed. No resident here has shown any symptoms. No resident is held in virus quarantine. No employee has become infected. The management of this facility has put in place numerous preventive measures. No visitors allowed. Employees have their temperature taken upon entering and leaving. Packages are delivered at the door, sprayed and sometimes put on hold for 24 hours. Mail and newspapers are put on hold for 24 hours. Staff wear masks (often hand-made from scraps of story telling material), gloves and disposable hygienic boots. Housekeeping wipes down doorhandles, tables and commonly used surfaces with sanitized wipes. We have eliminated group gatherings. We stay 6 feet apart when eating and walking. So far, we are corona virus free.
One interesting decision that involved me I found humbling and somewhat humorous. Part of our regular programming involved Friday morning half hour Bible studies and Sunday afternoon worship services, With the elimination of group gatherings and any visitors, we could not meet for Bible study or have various pastors come on Sundays to lead worship. Management then made the decision to appoint me as Bible study leader and Sunday worship leader but accomplish everything on in-house TV. So, much to my surprise, I am now on TV twice a week!
When you go through a situation like this with lock-downs, no visitors (not even family members) one naturally does some serious thinking. One important mind set is that our lives suddenly have become 'simple'. We are alone. Here in this facility we don't have to worry about food, protection, heating, air conditioning, water, living assistance, etc. We are cared for and we are fed. So why do we complain? Because many times we are self-centered and don't appreciate what people do for us.
Another important thought. Am I concerned about 'needs' or 'wants'? Just a few weeks ago I had lots of things I thought I wanted running around my brain. For example, wouldn't it be nice to have fresh flowers in my room every week? Or, maybe a jar of special homemade chocolate sauce? Or, how about a new spring outfit? Yet, now, in the midst of a raging health problem bringing death to millions across the world, I ask myself, what is important? Wants or needs. Needs are the elements for survival and fortunately we as senior citizens are blessed to have those needs met. Sure, we think we need something, but when it comes down to it....we realize those are just 'wants' rather than 'needs'.
This corona virus is definitely making a mark on our lives. When we think of the incredible wealth and prosperity we were living under just three or four months ago, we are shocked at where we find ourselves today. And we worry about tomorrow. In response to all these shocks and changes, I am again reminded. God is in control! Is God giving us a wake-up call to return to Him in all honesty, respect, humility, praise and worship? Have we ignored God? Have we set Him aside and replaced Him with our selfish 'wants'? Have we forgotten that He created us out of love? Have we forgotten that God gave us His Son, Jesus, to die a hideous death on the cross to save us from our sinful natures? Have we forgotten God loves each of us so much that He wants all of us to dwell in Heaven with Him? Have we forgotten that God wants us to surrender our hearts to Jesus, and to believe in Him as our Redeemer?
Let us think about these spiritual questions and respond to our Triune God in the affirmative. Let us make that 'need' for a Savior be a heart wrenching 'want'. Amen.
Dick and I live in a senior facility for Assisted Living and Memory Care. We realize we are more prone to corona virus. However, we are blessed. No resident here has shown any symptoms. No resident is held in virus quarantine. No employee has become infected. The management of this facility has put in place numerous preventive measures. No visitors allowed. Employees have their temperature taken upon entering and leaving. Packages are delivered at the door, sprayed and sometimes put on hold for 24 hours. Mail and newspapers are put on hold for 24 hours. Staff wear masks (often hand-made from scraps of story telling material), gloves and disposable hygienic boots. Housekeeping wipes down doorhandles, tables and commonly used surfaces with sanitized wipes. We have eliminated group gatherings. We stay 6 feet apart when eating and walking. So far, we are corona virus free.
One interesting decision that involved me I found humbling and somewhat humorous. Part of our regular programming involved Friday morning half hour Bible studies and Sunday afternoon worship services, With the elimination of group gatherings and any visitors, we could not meet for Bible study or have various pastors come on Sundays to lead worship. Management then made the decision to appoint me as Bible study leader and Sunday worship leader but accomplish everything on in-house TV. So, much to my surprise, I am now on TV twice a week!
When you go through a situation like this with lock-downs, no visitors (not even family members) one naturally does some serious thinking. One important mind set is that our lives suddenly have become 'simple'. We are alone. Here in this facility we don't have to worry about food, protection, heating, air conditioning, water, living assistance, etc. We are cared for and we are fed. So why do we complain? Because many times we are self-centered and don't appreciate what people do for us.
Another important thought. Am I concerned about 'needs' or 'wants'? Just a few weeks ago I had lots of things I thought I wanted running around my brain. For example, wouldn't it be nice to have fresh flowers in my room every week? Or, maybe a jar of special homemade chocolate sauce? Or, how about a new spring outfit? Yet, now, in the midst of a raging health problem bringing death to millions across the world, I ask myself, what is important? Wants or needs. Needs are the elements for survival and fortunately we as senior citizens are blessed to have those needs met. Sure, we think we need something, but when it comes down to it....we realize those are just 'wants' rather than 'needs'.
This corona virus is definitely making a mark on our lives. When we think of the incredible wealth and prosperity we were living under just three or four months ago, we are shocked at where we find ourselves today. And we worry about tomorrow. In response to all these shocks and changes, I am again reminded. God is in control! Is God giving us a wake-up call to return to Him in all honesty, respect, humility, praise and worship? Have we ignored God? Have we set Him aside and replaced Him with our selfish 'wants'? Have we forgotten that He created us out of love? Have we forgotten that God gave us His Son, Jesus, to die a hideous death on the cross to save us from our sinful natures? Have we forgotten God loves each of us so much that He wants all of us to dwell in Heaven with Him? Have we forgotten that God wants us to surrender our hearts to Jesus, and to believe in Him as our Redeemer?
Let us think about these spiritual questions and respond to our Triune God in the affirmative. Let us make that 'need' for a Savior be a heart wrenching 'want'. Amen.
Wednesday, April 15, 2020
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Amazing what love can do!
In Webster's dictionary, the noun 'love' means strong/warm attachment. When used as a verb, 'love' means to value highly/cherish. In our culture we use the word 'love' almost casually, but we should remember its powerful meaning. What would we be without love? What would we do without love? When we truly think about love and its power, it's amazing what love can do!
As most of you know, my husband suffers from mild dementia/Alzheimer's late onset. We live together in a Memory Care Facility. I made that decision because I love him dearly and never wanted him to feel alone. As many know, Alzheimer's is a growing tragedy in our culture hitting numerous individuals especially in our senior years. I also firmly believed that while showing my husband constant love, acceptance and encouragement he might not progress rapidly into severe confusion and mental deterioration. I realize there is much we do not know about Alzheimer's and each individual displays a different journey. I put my faith in love. So far, his progression has been slow and I can still enjoy living with a husband who knows me, tells me he loves me and can perform simple tasks.
But love takes energy and determination. In my situation, there are times that I get very frustrated, especially when I'm tired. When you've lived with a man for 61 years you know a lot about him and recognize his abilities. When the tragedy of dementia takes over, there are times I feel like I'm living with a 90 year old child. Here I am living in this locked down facility with little companionship because the other dementia victims are severely affected or in dire straits. I made this rare decision because my love for him supercedes my personal, self-centered desires.
Anyone going through the role of caregiver to a dementia victim knows there is little companionship, little conversation, little joy. So why do we sacrifice our independence and our lifestyle? Because we love them. When we think about it, what would we want if our roles were reversed? Dementia victims lead totally different lives depending on the severity and the progress of the disease. Now having lived with a dementia victim for at least 6 years, I have observed certain shared behaviors. Initially, the victims realize something is deteriorating with their brain, but they don't know what or how to fix it. The more they are criticized, or laughed at, the more they regress into their own troubled mind set. From the beginning I kept respecting Dick, reminding him of the incredibly productive professional life he led as a teacher and elementary school principal. He would not say much in response but I saw him brighten. We would also look at old photos and albums recording our busy lives as parents and the adventures we lived. Dick was an incredible athlete, white water rafting, literally teaching thousands to swim, playing hockey with his buddies in Canada, and maintaining rigorous daily exercises. That's probably why he is in such good physical shape not using a cane or walker. Unfortunately, he does not exercise now, or avidly watch sports like he used to. He spends most of his day napping, has little appetite, does not converse with people, and sometimes forgets about me. I have to be his counselor- reminding him to wash his hands, choosing his clothes, helping him eat (he frequently states, "I'm full"), reminding him where, when and what we are doing, picking up what he's dropped and forgotten, buttoning his shirt, and helping him dress. Every day and night we repeat the words "I love you". I thank him for loving me and he reminds me that he will never stop loving me. His words of passion bring joy to my heart and I believe do the same for him.
All caregivers know what I'm talking about. We maintain smiles to the world, stating every day, "I'm feeling fine, thank you." As for me, I totally depend on the Lord. As I struggle along walking with a cane and hoping I don't fall, I whisper Jesus' name because He is the one who loves me without reservation and He is the One who sustains me.
Love is not a simple entity. We read in 1 John 4:16, "God is love". That explains the power of love. Our magnificent Holy Creator is filled with love and imparts His love to us.
As most of you know, my husband suffers from mild dementia/Alzheimer's late onset. We live together in a Memory Care Facility. I made that decision because I love him dearly and never wanted him to feel alone. As many know, Alzheimer's is a growing tragedy in our culture hitting numerous individuals especially in our senior years. I also firmly believed that while showing my husband constant love, acceptance and encouragement he might not progress rapidly into severe confusion and mental deterioration. I realize there is much we do not know about Alzheimer's and each individual displays a different journey. I put my faith in love. So far, his progression has been slow and I can still enjoy living with a husband who knows me, tells me he loves me and can perform simple tasks.
But love takes energy and determination. In my situation, there are times that I get very frustrated, especially when I'm tired. When you've lived with a man for 61 years you know a lot about him and recognize his abilities. When the tragedy of dementia takes over, there are times I feel like I'm living with a 90 year old child. Here I am living in this locked down facility with little companionship because the other dementia victims are severely affected or in dire straits. I made this rare decision because my love for him supercedes my personal, self-centered desires.
Anyone going through the role of caregiver to a dementia victim knows there is little companionship, little conversation, little joy. So why do we sacrifice our independence and our lifestyle? Because we love them. When we think about it, what would we want if our roles were reversed? Dementia victims lead totally different lives depending on the severity and the progress of the disease. Now having lived with a dementia victim for at least 6 years, I have observed certain shared behaviors. Initially, the victims realize something is deteriorating with their brain, but they don't know what or how to fix it. The more they are criticized, or laughed at, the more they regress into their own troubled mind set. From the beginning I kept respecting Dick, reminding him of the incredibly productive professional life he led as a teacher and elementary school principal. He would not say much in response but I saw him brighten. We would also look at old photos and albums recording our busy lives as parents and the adventures we lived. Dick was an incredible athlete, white water rafting, literally teaching thousands to swim, playing hockey with his buddies in Canada, and maintaining rigorous daily exercises. That's probably why he is in such good physical shape not using a cane or walker. Unfortunately, he does not exercise now, or avidly watch sports like he used to. He spends most of his day napping, has little appetite, does not converse with people, and sometimes forgets about me. I have to be his counselor- reminding him to wash his hands, choosing his clothes, helping him eat (he frequently states, "I'm full"), reminding him where, when and what we are doing, picking up what he's dropped and forgotten, buttoning his shirt, and helping him dress. Every day and night we repeat the words "I love you". I thank him for loving me and he reminds me that he will never stop loving me. His words of passion bring joy to my heart and I believe do the same for him.
All caregivers know what I'm talking about. We maintain smiles to the world, stating every day, "I'm feeling fine, thank you." As for me, I totally depend on the Lord. As I struggle along walking with a cane and hoping I don't fall, I whisper Jesus' name because He is the one who loves me without reservation and He is the One who sustains me.
Love is not a simple entity. We read in 1 John 4:16, "God is love". That explains the power of love. Our magnificent Holy Creator is filled with love and imparts His love to us.
Thursday, February 13, 2020
A Valentine Love Letter
To my loving husband,
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." Remember those words from Elizabeth Barrett Browning? The poem starts "I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the words of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life; and if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death." Those beautiful words written back in the 1800s I choose to use today.
Yes, I do love you, even after decades of marriage. When I think about the divorce rate today I am amazed we are still together in our 'old age'. The lives we led, the crazy busyness we experienced, the children we raised, the family vacation trips we took, the financial burdens we experienced, and the 'discussions' (not arguments) we endured, prove that marriage is 'work'. But how wonderful that in our senior years now we still crave to be with each other, we still find intimacy holding hands or snuggling in our queen size bed at night. And how I thrill to your tender kisses and soft words, "I love you", that I experience countless times during the day and night. You have been my protector, my lover, my companion, my counselor, my financial wizard and my best friend.
Remember how we met? In 1953 at that Christmas Hope College party in Queens, New York. You had just returned to the US after serving two years in the Army in Germany during the Korean War. I was a senior in high school having made the decision to attend Hope and you were returning to Hope to complete your education. And then the summers at Spring Lake in Wyckoff, NJ where you were head lifeguard (no drownings) and I liked to swim. First date was pizza in Suffern, NY. You taught 5th and 6th grade in Holland, MI and I transferred to Columbia University to complete my nursing education. We wrote letters every day, giving details of our lives and always expressing our love. December 27, 1958 was a beautiful wedding day, sunny and warm. We wanted a family, no doubt about that. And we suffered intense grief as our first pregnancy was a miscarriage and our second was a stillborn girl. During my deep grief and tears, you encouraged me, and supported me with tender devotion. The birth of a son and three daughters was met with jubilation and celebration. Our lives were now full. All during my singing career you performed your role of Daddy while I traveled on weekends singing concerts and you were principal of Sicomac Elementary School in Wyckoff.
And here we are, six decades later, suffering from various maladies but still loving each other dearly. You, with your progressive dementia and Alzheimer's, now living in a memory care unit, and me, with my weak, handicapped body as a result of brain cancer choosing to live with you under locked, rigid rules so you will never be alone. While I suffered with brain cancer you were at the hospital every day greeting me with your infectious smile. And now, I lovingly care for you, to the best of my ability.
How did we do it? We always talked, never went to sleep until we ironed out our differences and most important forgave each other for hurts, misunderstandings, and stupid self-centered things we did. Here we are. Two independent, strong willed people and yet we endured. We now realize no marriage is perfect but God had a reason for bringing one man and one woman together in a loving, passionate, long lasting marriage. To teach us to lose our self-control, me-first attitude and become more giving. And now in our senior years of 90 and 84, we find our relationship more tender and endearing than ever before. We've made it! We are still together and not suffering in loneliness or grief. God has truly blessed us! Thank you, my faithful, true, abiding husband for our wonderful marriage. You are my 'Valentine'!
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." Remember those words from Elizabeth Barrett Browning? The poem starts "I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the words of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life; and if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death." Those beautiful words written back in the 1800s I choose to use today.
Yes, I do love you, even after decades of marriage. When I think about the divorce rate today I am amazed we are still together in our 'old age'. The lives we led, the crazy busyness we experienced, the children we raised, the family vacation trips we took, the financial burdens we experienced, and the 'discussions' (not arguments) we endured, prove that marriage is 'work'. But how wonderful that in our senior years now we still crave to be with each other, we still find intimacy holding hands or snuggling in our queen size bed at night. And how I thrill to your tender kisses and soft words, "I love you", that I experience countless times during the day and night. You have been my protector, my lover, my companion, my counselor, my financial wizard and my best friend.
Remember how we met? In 1953 at that Christmas Hope College party in Queens, New York. You had just returned to the US after serving two years in the Army in Germany during the Korean War. I was a senior in high school having made the decision to attend Hope and you were returning to Hope to complete your education. And then the summers at Spring Lake in Wyckoff, NJ where you were head lifeguard (no drownings) and I liked to swim. First date was pizza in Suffern, NY. You taught 5th and 6th grade in Holland, MI and I transferred to Columbia University to complete my nursing education. We wrote letters every day, giving details of our lives and always expressing our love. December 27, 1958 was a beautiful wedding day, sunny and warm. We wanted a family, no doubt about that. And we suffered intense grief as our first pregnancy was a miscarriage and our second was a stillborn girl. During my deep grief and tears, you encouraged me, and supported me with tender devotion. The birth of a son and three daughters was met with jubilation and celebration. Our lives were now full. All during my singing career you performed your role of Daddy while I traveled on weekends singing concerts and you were principal of Sicomac Elementary School in Wyckoff.
And here we are, six decades later, suffering from various maladies but still loving each other dearly. You, with your progressive dementia and Alzheimer's, now living in a memory care unit, and me, with my weak, handicapped body as a result of brain cancer choosing to live with you under locked, rigid rules so you will never be alone. While I suffered with brain cancer you were at the hospital every day greeting me with your infectious smile. And now, I lovingly care for you, to the best of my ability.
How did we do it? We always talked, never went to sleep until we ironed out our differences and most important forgave each other for hurts, misunderstandings, and stupid self-centered things we did. Here we are. Two independent, strong willed people and yet we endured. We now realize no marriage is perfect but God had a reason for bringing one man and one woman together in a loving, passionate, long lasting marriage. To teach us to lose our self-control, me-first attitude and become more giving. And now in our senior years of 90 and 84, we find our relationship more tender and endearing than ever before. We've made it! We are still together and not suffering in loneliness or grief. God has truly blessed us! Thank you, my faithful, true, abiding husband for our wonderful marriage. You are my 'Valentine'!
Sunday, January 19, 2020
Why are so many seniors suffering?
We all know friends and family who have suffered from cancer. In fact, It seems as if every family has a victim of cancer. Is cancer something that has just appeared in the last 50 or so years or was it always there and not identified. But we are all experiencing the physical pain, the emotional upheaval of the effects of a cancer diagnosis.
I have a friend who has struggled through four different cancer diagnosis: colon, skin, breast and lymph node and miraculously survived. Her testimony is impressive. "I think of my miracles as blessings. God still has a plan for me. I do small things like hang out my seed bell for His sparrows, or greet someone in the hall with a smile, or maybe just a short conversation in the grocery aisle with someone who is lonely. Who knows where we can a blessing? I'm too old for big things but I do so enjoy the small things life has to offer."
We hear of many miraculous healings from cancer but also many tragic deaths. Fortunately, there have been great strides made in cancer research. As we all just read in the news recently "researches reported the largest one-year decline in the US cancer death rate. a drop they credited to advance in lung-tumor treatments." We rejoice at that news. But we find ourselves still asking the question, "Why, Lord, must we suffer so?"
Medical advances have presented many amazing solutions to old age problems including joint replacements, medications and elective surgeries. Does it help? In some cases, yes. But in many cases senior citizens have more pain and more discomfort. And we wonder. Why, in our advancing age are we facing so many physical and mental challenges? Well, that's part of aging. Our bodies are deteriorating.
But there's another factor that adds to the problem. There is an enemy that exists in our world and he is after every human creature. His name, of course, is Satan, Lucifer, devil. He is the fallen angel that wanted to be greater than God Almighty. We can read about him in Genesis (as the serpent), Job (1:6-12), Isaiah (especially 14:12-15) and throughout the New Testament. Satan still exists today in all his malevolent spiritual power. As we are warned in 1 Peter 5:8-9, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." Yes, we are in a spiritual battle and the Lord is more powerful than the devil. As we age and become physically weaker, we are prone to this 'roaring lion' who prowls around us and probably laughs with glee as he sees before him a weak, defenseless, hurting elderly person.
Let me give you a personal example. As many of you know, I was suddenly stricken in July, 2010 at age 74, with CNS lymphoma, a rare, aggressive, lethal cancer of the brain. The oncologist told me on July 6, 2010, I had only seven weeks to live. I was not in pain, but I was confused, depressed and worried. Healthy Janet? How could this happen to me? And then I remembered that on May 26, in the middle of the night, I had a vision of Jesus telling me I "would be healed". I wasn't even sick then! As I staggered around trying to alleviate my stress, I constantly experienced a dark cloud approaching me with tentacles trying to grab me. Finally, one night I began to realize this must be Satan trying to attack me. I said, "Satan, why are you trying to get me? I'm just an old woman. I'm not a famous evangelist. Why do you want me?" Then the light dawned on me. Satan wants everyone. When we are physically weak it's hard to fight and Satan knows that. I was blessed because as I felt Satan's claws, I felt the loving arms of Jesus surrounding me, holding me, protecting me and I knew I was safe, and most important, I was healed.
Now as I think about growing older, weaker, disintegrating, finally turning to dust and death, I am assured that my faith in Jesus my Lord will give me sustenance, reassurance and resurrection so there is nothing to fear.
I have a friend who has struggled through four different cancer diagnosis: colon, skin, breast and lymph node and miraculously survived. Her testimony is impressive. "I think of my miracles as blessings. God still has a plan for me. I do small things like hang out my seed bell for His sparrows, or greet someone in the hall with a smile, or maybe just a short conversation in the grocery aisle with someone who is lonely. Who knows where we can a blessing? I'm too old for big things but I do so enjoy the small things life has to offer."
We hear of many miraculous healings from cancer but also many tragic deaths. Fortunately, there have been great strides made in cancer research. As we all just read in the news recently "researches reported the largest one-year decline in the US cancer death rate. a drop they credited to advance in lung-tumor treatments." We rejoice at that news. But we find ourselves still asking the question, "Why, Lord, must we suffer so?"
Medical advances have presented many amazing solutions to old age problems including joint replacements, medications and elective surgeries. Does it help? In some cases, yes. But in many cases senior citizens have more pain and more discomfort. And we wonder. Why, in our advancing age are we facing so many physical and mental challenges? Well, that's part of aging. Our bodies are deteriorating.
But there's another factor that adds to the problem. There is an enemy that exists in our world and he is after every human creature. His name, of course, is Satan, Lucifer, devil. He is the fallen angel that wanted to be greater than God Almighty. We can read about him in Genesis (as the serpent), Job (1:6-12), Isaiah (especially 14:12-15) and throughout the New Testament. Satan still exists today in all his malevolent spiritual power. As we are warned in 1 Peter 5:8-9, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." Yes, we are in a spiritual battle and the Lord is more powerful than the devil. As we age and become physically weaker, we are prone to this 'roaring lion' who prowls around us and probably laughs with glee as he sees before him a weak, defenseless, hurting elderly person.
Let me give you a personal example. As many of you know, I was suddenly stricken in July, 2010 at age 74, with CNS lymphoma, a rare, aggressive, lethal cancer of the brain. The oncologist told me on July 6, 2010, I had only seven weeks to live. I was not in pain, but I was confused, depressed and worried. Healthy Janet? How could this happen to me? And then I remembered that on May 26, in the middle of the night, I had a vision of Jesus telling me I "would be healed". I wasn't even sick then! As I staggered around trying to alleviate my stress, I constantly experienced a dark cloud approaching me with tentacles trying to grab me. Finally, one night I began to realize this must be Satan trying to attack me. I said, "Satan, why are you trying to get me? I'm just an old woman. I'm not a famous evangelist. Why do you want me?" Then the light dawned on me. Satan wants everyone. When we are physically weak it's hard to fight and Satan knows that. I was blessed because as I felt Satan's claws, I felt the loving arms of Jesus surrounding me, holding me, protecting me and I knew I was safe, and most important, I was healed.
Now as I think about growing older, weaker, disintegrating, finally turning to dust and death, I am assured that my faith in Jesus my Lord will give me sustenance, reassurance and resurrection so there is nothing to fear.
Monday, December 16, 2019
The Miracle at Christmas
As senior citizens we all have tender years of Christmas memories, from early childhood Santa stories, through teen years kissing under the mistletoe, to hiding gifts for family surprises, and now to enjoying great grandchildren reliving those Christmas traditions. Yes, our lives are filled with decades of Christmases. As we look back over the years, what has made Christmas deep in our lives? Could it be we have never ceased to be overwhelmed with the reality of the proof of God's amazing, miraculous, spiritual, gracious gift of the baby Jesus?
I love Christmas and all the trimmings. There is one powerful element of Christmas that I experience every year. It's in the music, it's in the worship, it's in the thoughtful love of family and friends. Yes, God's presence radiates around us and in us believers as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. It is as if Almighty God pours out a special measure of love on us as He reminds us of that miraculous event.
And a super miracle it was! Just think of the details. First of all, the timing. Rome was the governing power in the world. Rome had built roads, established settlements and communication was possible across cultural differences throughout the Roman world. God knew it was the right time. Then a young teenage virgin girl is suddenly pregnant, never intimately knowing a young man. How could this happen? Scientists say 'impossible'. In order to become pregnant a male sperm must enter a female and fertilize an egg. Mary was a virgin and yet she became pregnant. First of all the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and spoke incredible news to her. Imagine her shock as she heard that she, of all women, would birth the Son of God, the long awaited Messiah. Then when she heard Gabriel tell her about Elizabeth, she knew she had to go talk with Elizabeth.
Imagine the gossip back in Nazareth. Mary engaged to Joseph is pregnant! Oh, what a naughty couple. But Mary knew and believed and trusted God. She knew the scriptures, Isaiah 7:14, "a virgin shall conceive and bear a son and shall call his name Immanuel". When the angel spoke to Joseph he believed and took Mary as his wife. Another miracle!
Shepherds were the low men in the culture at that time. Who would have ever thought simple shepherds would have a starring role in the Christmas story. But there they were, dirty and smelly, watching their innocent lambs during the long starry night. Imagine, "the glory of the Lord shone around them" Luke 2:9, and they saw a heavenly angel speaking to them. Wow! A life changing experience! A Savior. Then were told "Go, see him.......a baby wrapped in rags and lying in a manger" Luke 2:12. Then a "multitude of angels started singing praises to Eternal God" Luke 2:13. Multitude means thousands of heavenly beings. Imagine witnessing that power, that proclamation, that music. Here they were, lowest of low people and yet witnesses of God's immense presence. Of course the shepherds couldn't wait another second to see this newborn who was named Christ the Lord! And they rushed across the fields and to their joy and amazement they found Mary, Joseph and a tiny newborn baby lying in a manger. Can you imagine the shepherds shouting in jubilation all over Bethlehem about this incredible news! The Messiah is born!
We live in a physical world surrounded by material things, comforts and never ending technologies. But how many times do we witness the miraculous touch of God? When we think through the amazing story of Christmas we are confronted with the undeniable truth and reality that there is a God, that God is our Creator, that God is in control of our lives and our physical world. A virgin gave birth to Jesus, our Savior. Angels appeared to Mary, Joseph and the shepherds. Multitude of angels praising God in front of shepherds. No earthly human being could cause this. These phenomena only occur in the presence of spiritual power of the One True God. The miracle of Christmas occurred over two thousand years ago, in God's perfect timing. These events prove without a doubt that Almighty God exists. Never forget that God has a plan for our lives, that God controls our world and blessed us with the Miracle at Christmas. Jesus Christ, Savior, Redeemer is born! Let us, with the heavenly host, praise God!
I love Christmas and all the trimmings. There is one powerful element of Christmas that I experience every year. It's in the music, it's in the worship, it's in the thoughtful love of family and friends. Yes, God's presence radiates around us and in us believers as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. It is as if Almighty God pours out a special measure of love on us as He reminds us of that miraculous event.
And a super miracle it was! Just think of the details. First of all, the timing. Rome was the governing power in the world. Rome had built roads, established settlements and communication was possible across cultural differences throughout the Roman world. God knew it was the right time. Then a young teenage virgin girl is suddenly pregnant, never intimately knowing a young man. How could this happen? Scientists say 'impossible'. In order to become pregnant a male sperm must enter a female and fertilize an egg. Mary was a virgin and yet she became pregnant. First of all the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and spoke incredible news to her. Imagine her shock as she heard that she, of all women, would birth the Son of God, the long awaited Messiah. Then when she heard Gabriel tell her about Elizabeth, she knew she had to go talk with Elizabeth.
Imagine the gossip back in Nazareth. Mary engaged to Joseph is pregnant! Oh, what a naughty couple. But Mary knew and believed and trusted God. She knew the scriptures, Isaiah 7:14, "a virgin shall conceive and bear a son and shall call his name Immanuel". When the angel spoke to Joseph he believed and took Mary as his wife. Another miracle!
Shepherds were the low men in the culture at that time. Who would have ever thought simple shepherds would have a starring role in the Christmas story. But there they were, dirty and smelly, watching their innocent lambs during the long starry night. Imagine, "the glory of the Lord shone around them" Luke 2:9, and they saw a heavenly angel speaking to them. Wow! A life changing experience! A Savior. Then were told "Go, see him.......a baby wrapped in rags and lying in a manger" Luke 2:12. Then a "multitude of angels started singing praises to Eternal God" Luke 2:13. Multitude means thousands of heavenly beings. Imagine witnessing that power, that proclamation, that music. Here they were, lowest of low people and yet witnesses of God's immense presence. Of course the shepherds couldn't wait another second to see this newborn who was named Christ the Lord! And they rushed across the fields and to their joy and amazement they found Mary, Joseph and a tiny newborn baby lying in a manger. Can you imagine the shepherds shouting in jubilation all over Bethlehem about this incredible news! The Messiah is born!
We live in a physical world surrounded by material things, comforts and never ending technologies. But how many times do we witness the miraculous touch of God? When we think through the amazing story of Christmas we are confronted with the undeniable truth and reality that there is a God, that God is our Creator, that God is in control of our lives and our physical world. A virgin gave birth to Jesus, our Savior. Angels appeared to Mary, Joseph and the shepherds. Multitude of angels praising God in front of shepherds. No earthly human being could cause this. These phenomena only occur in the presence of spiritual power of the One True God. The miracle of Christmas occurred over two thousand years ago, in God's perfect timing. These events prove without a doubt that Almighty God exists. Never forget that God has a plan for our lives, that God controls our world and blessed us with the Miracle at Christmas. Jesus Christ, Savior, Redeemer is born! Let us, with the heavenly host, praise God!
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