by Janet Baird Weisiger
"How come you don't go to Florida in the winter? You and your husband are retired.....you have the time," a neighbor inquired.
She laughed. "I love winter! The snow is so beautiful."
Oh, how she enjoyed winter! The eighteen winters they had spent at their Canadian lake house, filled with adventure and challenges. Snow-shoeing, cross country skiing, ice skating all alone down their long bay on perfect black ice. The laughs they had, sledding like young kids on their hill, competing for the longest sled ride. Watching the deer nibble the lakeside cedar trees. Walking the long snow covered lane bordered by waist high snow banks left over from plowing. Relishing the silence in the wintry woods and identifying animal tracks in the new fallen snow.
"There's so much I've lost now that cancer has taken its toll on my body," she confided to a friend. She thought about the physical activity she had always enjoyed and could not do, especially now that it was mid-winter.
Her friend responded sensitively. "But think about what you have gained!"
Yes, she began to think over the long months of hospitalization, chemotherapy, physical and occupational therapy. She remembered the promise Jesus had given her that special night when He had said "You will be healed, BUT in My time frame". She remembered His appearing next to her bed in the hospital, His presence flooding her room with love and radiance so that even the nurses commented on the 'spiritual glow' in her room.
"Yes," she admitted without hesitation. "I have experienced intimacy with my Savior!"
Then she realized. That intimacy had come unannounced, unplanned and unexpectedly. Yes, she had gained a spiritual dimension that she hadn't even known was possible. She had teetered on the entrance to heaven and consequently had become completely dependent on her blessed Jesus.
There were frequent moments during her day when she cherished His presence. When her legs were stiff from sitting too long and she struggled to rise from her chair and walk, she would whisper His name and she would immediately feel His strength and presence lifting her up and energizing her. When she struggled to return to sleep at night, she would whisper familiar Bible verses and then experience His calming assurances so she could fall back to sleep. When she and Dick walked the daily 1/3 mile around the condos, she sometimes had to silently whisper His name to keep going and climb the last hill.
During those four long months at Upstate Hospital in Syracuse, NY while undergoing chemos, spinal taps, endless injections and blood tests, she had experienced His loving presence.
She remembered the night she prayed diligently for the other cancer patients on the unit, several of whom were crying out in confusion and agony that evening. She remembered the floor suddenly becoming quiet and peaceful. Then the nurse coming in her room and commenting how unexplainable that the turmoil amidst the patients had suddenly stopped. Oh, how she had praised and thanked the Lord!
She thought of Denise, the nurse's aide, who frequently was assigned to her care. They had many conversations about Jesus and Denise was always amazed at how much love was evident in her room. Denise, native American, shared how her grandmother had walked her entire family, including little children, across the Canadian border, because she wanted her family to have US citizenship. Then the day before her discharge Denise had come to her and told her something wonderful.
"I used to be close to God, but my life has been so rough, I've strayed away from Him," Denise said. "But knowing you and seeing your faith shine through your struggle with cancer has caused me to turn back to God."
Tears and hugs had followed that conversation. Yes, the intimacy which she had gained with Jesus overflowed onto other lives.
Even the night nurses had come to her and confided, "Your room is so different. I come in here and see your smiling face sleeping on your pillow at night and think there is something so peaceful and loving here. You have something special. I want that for myself."
How many of the nursing staff had come to talk with her and she had caressed their faces with her left hand and told them simply, "Jesus loves you". They then wept and left her room thankful and amazed.
Yes, it was true she had lost a lot....physically. But wasn't it more important to gain spiritually? She had gained a precious intimacy that overflowed to others, that carried her through all the challenging obstacles of her recovery and would never leave her.
Intimacy. What a personal, comforting, confidential word! The more she thought about it the more incredible the reality that she had found 'intimacy' with Jesus. He had come to her. He had come but she had been open. She had surrendered her life to Him decades ago but never experienced this closeness, this dependency. If this cancer hadn't hit, if she had not come close to death....would she have ever experienced this treasure? Then why had He come to her? Why had He spoken to her? Why had He empowered her with this intimacy? And then she knew.
She realized that she had an important assignment from our Lord Himself. She heard His voice prompting her. "Go tell others about My love for them. Go! I will be with you." She then realized everyone has the opportunity to enjoy 'intimacy' with Jesus if only they surrender and let Him take over their lives.
"Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you.
Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." John 14:27
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