Love and Valentines

Oh, how she always loved Valentine's Day!  A day for secret, tiny cards signed "Guess who?".  Snowy, wintry days when the red paper hearts hung from the kitchen lamp.  A special day to say, "I love you!"  Isn't it amazing how those words always bring warm hugs to hearts.  She always loved hearing those words and saying them.

This year she was thrilled.  An early morning surprise at the breakfast table!  A small rose plant with fresh blooming scarlet red roses!  And a package of yummy dark chocolate!  Her favorites!  The card said "To my darling wife, Janet" and she knew, yes, knew she was still loved.  After 54 years, after many challenges, many hardships, many mis-understandings, many miscommunications, many disagreements but........they still loved each other.

She remembered hearing how some marriages were 'made in Heaven' and therefore were 'perfect'.  She had hoped for that but now she realized no marriage is perfect.  People just put on a mask and pretend -so that the world thinks it's perfect.

But, they had clung together all these years.  They were blessed to still have each other.  She marveled at how she was tenderly cared for, especially in the ravages of brain cancer.  The subsequent damage done to her brain had caused weakness in her right side.  She continued to be amazed at the continual healing but things had not returned to 'normal'.  She walked slowly with the help of a cane or Dick's arm.  Her right arm showed some slight improvement but she was a long way from writing with that hand.  She marveled that she could now assist Dick with meal preparation, sauteing vegetables by holding the frying pan with her right hand.  And she could make her own luncheon sandwich.  But she was not totally independent yet.

Yes, what love she had experienced over the past 2 1/2 years.  She remembered those first four months in Syracuse Upstate Hospital.  Dick was there every day!  Fortunately (God had planned it!), Glenn and his family lived only 20 minutes from the hospital so Dick had a guest room where he could stay.  Each day Dick would arrive by 7:30 in the morning and stay until after her evening meal was eaten so he could help brush her teeth!  All day he would sit by her side, read emails to her, speak words of encouragement, help her with bathroom visits, help her eat with her left hand, assist her moving to comfortable positions in bed, patiently sit while she dosed in frequent naps, cheering her on as she pushed her body to walk with the therapists moving her legs.  Here she was the nurse by training and education who was prepared and willing to take care of him and, yet he, the swimming instructor, lifeguard, the teacher and elementary school principal, was caring for her!

There was nothing attractive about her in that hospital scene.  Nor did she suddenly regain her looks when she was discharged.  She recalled those days with revulsion.  The steroid medications had caused ugly facial hair.  Her former thick, healthy head of hair had thinned and looked unkempt.  Her smile was crooked and her head and hand had tremors.  She realized she sometimes had awful odors!  Why did Dick still love her when the current advertising world screamed that the only desirous woman had to be beautiful, gorgeous, with the perfect body, flowing hair, sweet smelling and alluring! Instead, she was an ugly blot.

But Dick did love her.  When she sobbed with tears of frustration and impatience with herself he would tenderly wrap his arms about her and assure her she was still beautiful, talented, with a heart of love!  What a gift God had given her in this man she had fallen in love with years ago!

Yes, they had entrusted their lives to each other.  She marveled at that, knowing how many marriages were falling apart these days.  But they had stood before God on December 27, 1958 and promised to love each other "in sickness and in health 'til death do we part".  They had kept their promise!

God had created their love, God was the beginning of love, God was love.  This incredible power that melted hearts together, that brought laughter and joy, that caused a man and woman to look at each other after decades of marriage and still share intimacy, that made holding hands an act of devotion.  Only God's love knit together two strong-willed individuals to respect and adore one another.

She rejoiced that she knew this God of love.  He said in 1 John 4: 7-12, "Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God; for God is love.  In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.  In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the expiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  No man has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us."

In this earthly world, she realized, love was not just sensual sexual attraction or some Hollywood 'feeling' manufactured by chance.  No, love between a husband and wife was a deep, long-lasting, trusting, forgiving experience created as a precious gift from God.

Thank you, Lord, that your magnanimous nature gave this gift to us.  Happy Valentine's Day!