Janet had never experienced such a long, harsh winter. She had always loved snow...the purity, the quiet, the thrill of identifying animal tracks, the snow-laden trees, the magic of falling snowflakes, the nippy cold that reddened her cheeks, the unblemished fields and frozen lakes. BUT, this year she had to admit the winter was brutal! Many weeks of never ending blowing snow, dull darkened days, bitter frigid temperatures, driving hazards, poor visibility especially at intersections with mountains of snow. Oh, yes, she had enough of gloomy days!
The weather bothered her deeply, even causing her right leg to radiate with uncomfortable aches. She realized her progress in therapy was not advancing as quickly as she would like. It seemed like the barometer regularly fell every few days as each storm moved through west Michigan. And the falling barometer effected her physically and emotionally. So many storms! She now heard the snowfall for the winter measured over 12 feet! How many days she and Dick sat in the condo just reading books, napping and trying to avoid looking at the ceaseless snowfalls. A time of discontent.
But it was now March and surely spring sunshine was coming. The weather forecast, however, unfortunately, promised more cold and possible snow flurries. Yes, a trying time and more discontent. So what does one do when life is bleak, when circumstances do not shower happiness and rose petals?
Fortunately, she consistently sought the presence of the Lord. She knew that Jesus was always there to give her comfort and contentment. Both she and Dick participated in several Bible studies. That helped her to focus on spiritual things but some days, she had to admit, it was a challenge!
She found a book this month that helped her. "When Your World Falls Apart" by David Jeremiah tells the story of the author's experience with cancer, and includes many other painful human scenarios. Reading the book made her realize everyone has an experience that turns their life upside down. And flowing through the book are the wonderful lessons we can learn from the Psalms when going through those dark times...those winters of discontent.
She found Psalm 63 especially meaningful.
"O God, You are my God, early will I seek You, my soul thirsts for You, My flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water. So I have looked for You in the sanctuary, to see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips. When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches. Because You have been my help, therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice." Psalm 63:1-7
It made her realize that in the darkest moment of any tragedy, she could find peace by focusing on the Lord and all He has done. Verses 6 and 7 have been especially helpful...."When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches". How many times over the past 3 1/2 years had she lain awake in the middle of the night worrying about her physical condition of weakened right arm and leg. And at night the 'enemy' played with her mind with discouraging, fearful thoughts. But each time she consciously focused on the Lord... she felt the presence of Jesus, His arms wrapped around her and sweet sleep would enfold her. And verse 7, "Because You have been my help, therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice". Such security, such protection, such caring.....she pictured nestling into His love and the worries would fade.
Yes, cancer evokes terror, fear and heartache so that one's world does fall apart. The incidence of cancer is spreading in increasing numbers so that almost every family today has some member afflicted. Moments of intense discontent. But how wonderful that, Psalm 63 says in verse one, "You are my God, early will I seek You."
Janet remembered the oncology floor at Upstate Hospital in Syracuse where she remained a patient for four months battling cancer from middle of June through October of 2010. In a neighboring room was a female cancer patient. As Janet struggled to move her legs and walk with the physical therapist, she briefly passed that room and saw the patient. Janet never forgot the terror that radiated from that woman's eyes. That woman was obviously near death because the following day her room was vacant. All Janet could think of was that the woman was terrified by the thought of death. The oncology nurses told Janet that the dying patients who had a strong Christian faith died with peace on their faces but those that did not believe in Christ died in absolute agony and fear.
What a lesson! Janet rejoiced that she knew a Savior who, upon her death, will welcome her into His presence with loving arms. That will be contentment! She knew everyone makes a choice and she hoped and prayed for those she knew and loved that each one would choose Jesus and not die with terror in their eyes.
Looking at the calendar announcing spring in two weeks, she now concluded that with Jesus in her heart, a winter of discontent will disappear, and she will be filled with the Son-shine of contentment and peace!
