My paternal grandparents celebrated their 50th Wedding Anniversary back in the 1950s. I remember vividly the 50th anniversary party. There sat Nana and Pa on the sofa, greeting relatives and friends parading in and out of Aunt Muriel's house, smiling and shaking hands with well-wishers. Struggling with arthritic legs and a trifle overweight body, Nana remained seated on the sofa. Pa, having recently recovered from cancer surgery on his face due to years of cigar smoking, joked and laughed with every guest. Pa affectionately called Nana, "Dorie" even though her name was Lillian, but to Nana he was always 'John'. I remember thinking that day, "They really still love each other". The attention they gave each other, never ignoring, but serving cups of coffee, sitting close together on the sofa, always together whether shopping or cooking a meal and especially their affectionate touches gave proof of their long lasting love.
Dick and I were engaged to be married at that time and we were madly in love. Here we were craving each other's presence, hearts racing every time we were together, clinging to each other, heated passion with every kiss. Yes, we experienced deep true love yearning for the day we would be married and experience God ordained oneness. Then the glorious wedding day was celebrated on December 27, 1958, a beautiful sunny warm winter day at the Presbyterian Church in Ramsey, NJ.
This December of 2018, Dick and I will celebrate 60 years of marriage. Unbelievable! I never thought we'd live this long, especially since we are both cancer survivors. Dick had successful surgery back in 1990 for prostate cancer and I was miraculously healed of CNS lymphoma (cancer of the brain) in 2010. Yes, 60 years of marriage....not total bliss because as two independent, strong-willed people, we've had our moments of disagreement, anger and resentment. But we remembered our vows to Almighty God and stuck it out, reminding ourselves of that first 'eros' love that bound us together.
Do we love each other even now?.....when we struggle with physical problems that impede any 'love-making'? Absolutely, and the love between us is probably stronger than ever. It would be my guess that most married senior citizens in their eighties are unable to carry on an active sex life due to medical and physical reasons. But why should that lessen 'love'?
When we express marital love we express intimacy......two hearts united as one.....two different personalities meshing together......two lives committed to caring for each other. So, as we are blessed with still being here in this physical life in our senior years, how wonderful to continue the intimacy of love.
Holding hands as we walk around the pond, holding hands as we sit together on the sofa watching a movie, holding hands as we sit close in church praying, holding hands as we say mealtime 'grace'. And when we hold hands we experience a lifetime of marriage. His hands once strong and smooth as he spent 27 years as an elementary principal but now still strong but weathered from 20 years of cutting wood for our catalytic stove as we enjoyed retirement. My hands, small but always busy with raising four children, sewing special dresses and playing the piano, now arthritic and knobby. But we now hold and caress those hands together......and that is intimacy.
Due to various physical problems involving back, leg, general bodily pain and discomforts, many senior citizens find sleeping in a recliner chair their only comfort. Fortunately, we are blessed that we are still able to share our queen size bed together. Snuggling close to each other as we lay side by side, arms about each other, we rejoice in that familiar intimacy. Stroking his face and whispering "I love you" brings a softness to my heart. And when he smiles and says, "And I've never stopped loving you", I giggle with joy. Yes, that is loving intimacy.
Our prayers at night are special. As we lay there together, we pray for each member of our family, naming each slowly and thoughtfully, that God in His grace and mercy would bless each one with health, protection and wisdom in following Him. We conclude our prayers by together reciting the 23rd Psalm. As children we had memorized that psalm and now in our senior years it takes on increased meaning as we consider 'lying in green pastures, being led by still waters by a Shepherd who comforts with His rod and staff''. And together we receive the Lord's blessing. That is loving intimacy.
So, what is "Old age Passion"? It is the deepest love.....it is binding, forgiving and tender. The best of love surely is in our senior years.
