(this posting appeared in the Holland Sentinel 10/16/18)
In this day of medical and surgical intervention, we are all living longer. Just think, the advent of penicillin in the 1940s made a huge difference in battling bacterial infections and keeping people alive.
Yes, medical intervention is able to keep our physical bodies technically alive to the extent we can be hooked up to a machine for years. So, the question....is that the life we want to choose? A hundred years ago people just passed away in their homes, minus emergency care or medical intervention, because there wasn't any. But in our day, the medical team is committed to preserving some semblance of life. Since we all know we will definitely die some day, at God's appointed time, why not die with dignity?
Seniors have choices. In this year of 2018, legalities are very important as we make decisions and they change from state to state and sometimes year to year. But we do have some legal alternatives like DNR (do not resuscitate), Advance Health Care Directive, and Living Will with Durable Power of Attorney where we can make important decisions ourselves regarding end-of-life instead of placing that burden on loved ones.
In 2002 my mother died at age 93. She had lived alone in the house she and my dad had bought in 1957. She drove her Ford Encore until she was 90, when she made the decision herself to stop driving. She was in good health, though suffered from some arthritis and spinal stenosis. She had an active mind and memory. At 91 years we helped her hire live-in assistants. In January, 2002 we were notified that my mother had pneumonia and was entering the hospital so we quickly drove to NJ.
I stepped into room 3014 and smiled at the familiar loving face. My mother, her aged body looking so vulnerable in the hospital bed, grinned in response. "Are you in pain?" I asked.
"No," she said, closing her eyes, shielding me from some unpleasant reality.
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." I spoke the familiar words. Her voice picked up the verses, proclaiming her assurance of God's presence. Clasping the bony, arthritic hands, I wept.
The charge nurse appeared. "Time for your test."
'What test?" I challenged as I moved away from my mother's hearing.
"We've scheduled a special lung test."
"But she signed an Advance Directive for Health Care two years ago. She filed it with her doctor and here at the hospital. She does not want any extreme life-saving measures. I understand she had a CAT scan a short time ago. Why put her through any further discomfort?
She's lived a wonderful long life. She's not afraid to die. She's a Christian. She knows where she's going. Please let her go. I'm her daughter and I'm not afraid to let her die. That's what she wanted, to die with dignity. We talked about it."
The charge nurse looked at me with compassion. "I wish more families had your faith and peace. Come, I'll have the doctor talk with you."
As I spoke with the doctor, I realized the entire nursing staff was listening. "Please just let her go. No more tests. Let her die with dignity."
The doctor took a deep breath. '"Am I correct in saying you choose no further medical intervention?"
"Yes, and please give an order for No Code," I added.
As I returned to my mother's room, I wondered. If I were not a Christian, if I were not a nurse, I don't think I would have known what to say or do. What about families who are not familiar with medical language or do not have a strong Christian faith? How do they handle these situations? Do their loved ones end up on life support stretching the dying process to a painful, expensive siege?
Later that afternoon, my mother exhaled and slipped into unconsciousness. Then, as the flame of an antique slowly dims, her life slipped away and she entered the waiting arms of Jesus. The doctors, the nurses and the hospital had allowed her to die with dignity. They finally let her go.
We can all choose to die with dignity. Check out DNR and sign the legal form. Check out Advance Health Care Directive and specify your personal 'die with dignity' specifications. Check out Living Wills with Durable Power of Attorney. Let your wishes of dying with dignity be made known.
