When you have been through a painful experience, the death of a family member, a tragic accident, a life-changing physical condition, you wonder if things will ever be normal again. As time goes on, you become aware of all the 'perfect, energetic' folks around you and you know you cannot keep up with them. Others look so happy. others act like winners, so successful and you wonder "How can I exist?" When you think of the widows and widowers grieving, elderly citizens in nursing homes, young friends forced to be bedridden because of an automobile accident, do you respond, "Thank goodness that's not me." Or do we reach out and offer help, encouragement and love?
We senior citizens face enormous challenges. We are getting weaker, we are slowing down, we are forgetting what we did yesterday, we lose our spouse and suffer loneliness, we have daily aches and pains, we sell our car, we enter an assisted living facility, we give up shopping and depend on family and friends to shop for us, we wear a 'Do Not Resuscitate' bracelet, we prepay our funeral and all the time we remember our wonderful, productive, busy life.....and wonder. How did the years pass so quickly? Why can't I continue in my active lifestyle? Is this what 'aging' means? Falling apart and slowly decaying?
In this day and age, the senior population is rapidly growing because of health care advances. One hundred years ago people just died. Now because of tremendous accomplishments in health care, we are living longer and longer. Yes, a ninety year old cannot work nine to five, commute 45 minutes home through heavy traffic, cut the grass, swim 10 laps in his pool and party 'til midnight. But he can write his memoir, have coffee every morning with his buddies and sit and enjoy the beauties of the season. What's wrong with enjoying God's creation? What's wrong with resting in his lounge chair enjoying the warm sunshine?
I write this today because this is what I've been going through. Here I am sitting in an assisted living facility because of the brain damage I received from the brain cancer that I suffered in 2010. And here I am a new widow as of May 6. There are moments when I feel overwhelmed and unable to handle the grief in my life. I have difficulty walking.......very slowly, with a cane held by my left hand because my right arm was damaged in the cancer. I have to be very careful so I don't fall. And here I was just before the cancer hit, walking 2 miles a day, gardening, helping Dick gather wood for our stove in Canada, entertaining with frequent dinner parties, active in church and community. The brain cancer was unexpected and shocked our family. Upon research I was reminded that I had tested positive for Lyme disease in 2000 upon routine blood work. The conclusion is that the Lyme disease, though without symptoms, compromised the immune system in my thalamus (small entity located in the center of my brain) allowing the cancer cells to multiply and affecting the function of the thalamus.
Fortunately, the chemotherapy and 'Jesus healing' saved my life. The oncologists are shocked I lived (they had given me 7 weeks to survive in July, 2010). When the cancer hit, Dick was a super husband who visited me every day for the four months I was in the hospital! The MD told me I was fortunate to have a loyal husband because many leave their wives when cancer hits. I have been blessed with a super husband who has consistently loved me even when I have been a selfish, egocentric, wanting 'my own way' woman.
Now I ask myself, "Is it really that bad?" When I consider how the Lord healed me from a fatal cancer, how He also healed me a few months ago from Corona Virus, how I have beautiful accommodations here at Vista Springs, Holland Meadows, a loving supportive family of 4 adults and 12 plus 2 adult grandchildren, a healthy body, ability to write and share my heart with others, I can truthfully say, "God has protected me, healed me and been a constant presence in my life." Because of Him, my life is definitely NOT bad. Instead, my life is blessed. May you feel the same.
