We all undergo change in our lives. True, change can be exciting, dramatic, beneficial, happy.....but what about the change that is unexpected, tragic, debilitating and 'old age' related? Most of us in our senior years laugh at the thought we are getting 'old'. We deny it, we ignore it, we point to others but not ourselves and we avoid looking in the mirror. Have you attended your latest High School reunion and honestly looked at your fellow classmates? You laugh and say, "Oh my, has she aged!" and "He was the football star?" But ourselves? "Oh, we don't look so bad." Our culture is so youth oriented that if we are filled with facial wrinkles, if we walk bent over with a cane or walker, then people look away because 'old age' may be contagious. Of course we all grow old. That is the natural progression of our physical bodies and we cannot escape it. So we better accept it and live proudly and boldly.
But the problem is we have trouble accepting the major change called aging. It is natural, it happens to everyone but we have difficulty accepting this huge change in our lives.....aging. For example, we begin to downsize our lives realizing that the big house we've had for years isn't necessary any longer. So we move into a condo. Then suddenly we fall and have to be hospitalized and then weeks of therapy. Do we return to the condo? Maybe. Then your spouse has dementia. You lovingly care for him for several years. But then the dementia progresses and you are forced to place him in a memory care facility. And where are you? Home alone. Or you suffer from a stroke and after weeks of rehab you still cannot function in your condo and you are placed in a long term care nursing facility. These are major changes. Are we prepared for them? Do we like them? Of course not, but this is the reality of senior living in a world of constant change. Add to that the financial cost of medical and nursing care, which can totally alter our economic picture. That is a gigantic change.
Most stressful change is the loss of our spouse. Here we are in our eighties with over 60 years of marriage. We still love each other, we still cuddle at night lying next to each other. We still reach out to each other with hugs and kisses. We still know exactly what we are thinking, what our favorite TV shows are, what team we cheer for......when all of a sudden death intrudes and forever severs our lives apart. And only one is left....alone, quiet, no hugs, no one snoring in our bed, no one sharing coffee cake and ice cream......and the tears and sobs convulse us. This is huge change.
So how do we handle these monumental challenges in our senior years? Let's start by remembering in detail the amazing lives we experienced with ourselves and with our spouses. We have books of photos, we have memorabilia, we have framed pictures of our families. All these precious memories can bring smiles to our faces. True, we may become teary eyed looking at albums, but our past years can bring much joy.
What I am concentrating on now is being gracious in my outlook....not complaining. Also, remembering my life..... all that I did accomplish. And even though I may feel I am not accomplishing much now in my eighties, being thankful for the wonderful, exciting, joyful experiences I have had. Raising four super kids who have made amazing accomplishments in their own lives. Working as a nurse teaching expectant parent classes back in the 60s and head nurse in gero/psych. Performing as soloist for Norman Vincent Peale as well as singing solo evangelistic concerts across the US, Canada, Mexico, Japan and now writing a blog and column for Holland Sentinel.
We cannot live in the past but memories are precious and sustain us in our senior years. Don't be afraid of sharing your own amazing stories. Be proud of them. Let people know what you did and how your life was filled with joy. God gives us these gifts that we use in our lifetime to bless and help others. So communicate the wonderful changes that occurred in your lifetime. That way, your physical,, emotional, mental changes into old age will be filled with thoughts of "Well done, good and faithful servant."
