In Webster's dictionary 'family' means...1. A group of individuals living under one roof and under one head 2. A group of persons of common ancestry 3. A group of things 4. A social unit consisting of one or two parents and their children. The question is, where does the 'senior citizen' fit in?
There seems to be discussion lately regarding the role of grandparents and great grandparents within a family structure. A young family with young children could say, "We're going on a family vacation" or "We want this to be just 'family time' " or "This will be a private family birthday". What do they mean? Are the grands and great grands not invited? When you think about it, only because of the great grands and the grands does the young family even exist. Therefore are not all living generations 'family' and shouldn't they be included in family get-togethers?
As our population continues to grow older with more senior citizens living longer, grandparents are feeling left out and ignored. They remember raising their children with loving care. They remember re-arranging their busy schedules to attend their children's activities. They sacrificed energy, money and time to give their children opportunities in education, experience and advantages to ensure their future. Yes, family was to them their children. Then they subsequently gave them up to marriage and raising their own children. But, are not grands and great grands still family?
As seniors experience slowing down, less energy and physical incapacities, family ties become even more precious. Isn't it interesting? As we go through life we go through different stages. As children, we grow and welcome new experiences. Then as teenagers, we become self-centered and feel we are on top of the world. As young adults we enter the world as professionals educated for achieving great goals. In our fifties we evaluate ourselves and witness our children rising to prominence. In our sixties we retire to lives of vacation and/or service. By the time we are in our eighties life begins to slow. We experience grief in losing loved ones and we yearn for returning to close family relationships. As the senior generation slows, the next generation speeds up and the family gap widens. The younger generation cannot understand how their parents' lives have changed...(weren't they always independent?) and the parents now cannot cope with why their children are not eagerly standing by to help....(don't they remember how we helped them?)
Is this a world wide problem or limited to life in the U.S.? In many foreign countries the elderly are more revered and better cared for than in the United States. That is because of cultural differences. The practice of "matriarch" and "patriarch" is an example as important individual and family decisions are not made without consultation with the elderly members. Certain countries in our world don't even have nursing homes, because elderly members of the family live in the home of a family member. Some countries have multiple generations living together, all supporting one another and taking on the care of all members of the family.
In the United States we are encouraged from toddler through adult to be independent. And to a certain point in our lives we like that independence. We are proud of it and we hold on to it as long as we are physically able. But there comes a time when events in our lives turn us totally around and as senior citizens we must accept help, physically, mentally and socially. And that's where family comes in.
We understand the busy and active life of our younger generation. But as parents, we crave a visit, an email, a time to share laughter, a time to hear news of what's going on in the lives of our children, our grand children and great grand children. We need to feel respected, not put aside, not ignored, not feeling we are not important any more. We need to hear words of encouragement when we are facing challenging physical problems, or emotional difficulties caring for a spouse. We need our family.
Many years ago God spoke to Moses and the Israelites. Exodus 20:12 has words that stand to help us as we live. The 5th commandment, "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Simple words but when followed with diligence and love, these words benefit all generations.
