"You are doing fabulously!" Dr. V., the physiatrist at MaryFreeBed announced on December 4.
Janet, being the perfectionist, grinned but doubted. Am I really? she wondered. But she knew Dr. V. was sincere and a realist. Yes, he was encouraging her.
"I want to make you my poster child," he said with a smile. "Most people your age give up or deteriorate. But you refuse to go that route."
"I'm determined to keep improving," she responded. "I have tremendous faith...that helps!"
But still she wondered and she struggled. Yes, she heard lots of encouragement from professional therapists, friends and most important, from Dick. He never stopped telling her that she was making progress, however so slight. Then why was she so hard on herself? Why did she become discouraged? Why did those negative feelings creep into her consciousness? Why did she frequently battle the insecurities...the fears...the doubts? She answered her own question...because I have not regained all my pre-cancer abilities, she shouted to herself. And here it's been 31/2 years! She still had difficulty walking and using her right arm. She needed help getting dressed, getting into a car, could not drive, needed help in the kitchen. In fact, she realized with dread that she could not live alone. She needed help to survive. Here she was...a previously independent woman with lots of abilities, always helping other people...and here she was now...dependent on others. Could she accept that?
Then a small voice whispered in her being. "I am here, Janet. When have I left you? Who was there with you when the cancer diagnosis sounded like a death knell? Who promised you that you would be healed? Who provided you with an attentive, healthy, loving husband who has never complained about helping you? Remember what I promised you? 'In my own time frame'. Keep exercising, Janet, and keep that positive attitude. Believe in Me....I will never leave you."
Yes, she thought. Instead of thinking negatively, she owed it to herself to daily remember those blessings. She began to think about Christmas. How she had always loved Christmas...the joy, the warmth, the family gatherings, the visits with friends, the lights, the music and caroling, candles, making gifts, baking...all the traditions of Christmas. And this year she did note improvements in her physical stamina. Why, she was even doing some baking. Sure, simple things and with some help...but she did it! And she was beginning to have energy to entertain family and friends. And just the other day a friend stood next to her while they were singing Christmas carols and commented, "Janet, your voice is coming back!" Wow, she thought.
Yes, gifts of Christmas...encouragement from different sources. That's what the Lord was sending her. Precious gifts to remind her of His presence. Gifts to tell her to think of joy rather than discouragement.
Yes, she faced challenges. But no one had easy, carefree lives. Everyone endured some kind of pain in their lives. And she realized she wanted to continue to be an inspiration to others whose pain was hidden. Her incapacities were visible, not painful physically but painful emotionally. But she could reach out to others through her writings and through direct contact and help them to realize Someone was there to lean on, to help, to uphold and give joy!
First, she decided to start each day by giving thanks for the continual indications of improvement and progress, no matter how small. Today was her list:
1. she was baking Christmas goodies (with some help)- 7 layer, English toffee, pecan tarts, Spritz
2. she could bake a pie (Thanksgiving pumpkin chiffon), even rolled out the pie crust
3. she helped Dick stuff and stamp and organize the Christmas letter
4. she was doing all the laundry and folding (except big sheets)
5. climbing up and down stairs was a challenge but getting easier
6. her stamina had increased - exercising, walking, desire to tackle increased physical activities
7. her desire for reading kept increasing
8. companionship with Dick was a blessing
9. ever expanding her circle of friends
10. writing with her left hand continually showed improvement
Today's list was a start. Yes, Christmas was joy and that thought alone lifted her spirits. For decades she had experienced the wonderful joyful presence of the Lord during Christmas. It was as if God sends a fullness of His presence toward earth to remind us of His most precious gift - the baby Jesus who came to save His people from our sins so that we will be with Him in glory forever! What a gift! What joy that gift brings to us.
She was reminded of the recent sermon she heard last Sunday. The Wise Men had arrived in Jerusalem looking for the baby. They had followed the star "and asked, 'Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.'" Matthew 2:2
"Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, 'Go and make a careful search for the child. As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him'. After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed." Matthew 2: 7-10
Yes, joy, real joy, joy in the Lord, takes away fear, disappointment, pain, discouragement and anxiety. The Wise Men confronted that evil king, Herod, but "When they saw the star, they were overjoyed."
Thinking all this through, Janet knew she had to remind herself that encouragement is a gift given to her daily to keep plugging away. The gift of encouragement then brings the gift of joy which comes from God Himself. And the gift of joy brings her to the gift of wonder and worship at the manger in Bethlehem. Such magnificent gifts! Only God would orchestrate such design. Yes, a God who gave the greatest gift of all - Jesus Christ.
"Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in strips of cloth and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests." Luke 2:11-14
A BLESSED CHRISTMAS TO ALL!
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Pearl Harbor December 7, 1941
Monday morning, December 8, 1941, the children, not more than five years old, filed into the Roosevelt School kindergarten room in Ridgefield Park, NJ. Miss Wilkins quickly had the young boys and girls sit in their little wooden green chairs. A short small lady, the teacher showed grave expression on her face as she opened a fresh copy of the New York Times. This was nothing unusual. She read from the paper every Monday morning to instruct her young charges of current events.
This morning Miss Wilkins spoke very seriously. She held up the Times and pointed to the picture on the front page. "Yesterday, there was an attack on the United States by the Japanese", she stated. "This happened at a large naval base called Pearl Harbor in Hawaii. This means that the United States is at war with Japan." The picture was indeed frightening, showing flames and smoke rising up from partially submerged naval destroyers.
Janet sat in her chair listening carefully. She wondered what this all meant. She wasn't even sure where Pearl Harbor was. She glanced around at her classmates. Her neighbor, John, who lived near her on Grand Avenue, stared through his dark-rimmed glasses.
"This is a troubling time for our country," Miss Wilkins continued. "Pearl Harbor is in the Pacific Ocean, far away from New Jersey." With that she got up from her chair and walked over to the globe which was mounted near the wall. She spun the globe and pointed first to New Jersey and then to Hawaii. "But our country is involved in a world wide war which will effect everyone."
She was right, because in a few days, war was declared on Germany. The United States was now fighting a gigantic war all across the world, on two continents.... against the Axis of Evil....Germany, Italy, and Japan.
In the weeks and months and years that followed, Janet discovered what war meant to a young girl in New Jersey. True, there was no immediate danger of bombing and concentration camps, but there were scary times, all in the name of 'Prepare for War'. Since Ridgefield Park was located just west of New York City and thus on the east coast, there were air raid drills. This was required because of the danger of German submarine and air attacks. Some of these drills took place during school hours, when all the students (K- 8) filed into the school basement, crouched down on their knees with their arms over their heads. Janet always felt frightened during these drills. In fact, she found herself listening to possible Nazi airplanes flying overhead ready to release bombs.
Her dad had to work long, extra hours because he worked as an accountant at Ford Motor Company in Edgewater, NJ on the Hudson River, right across from Manhattan. Ford Motor was busy manufacturing Army jeeps instead of cars. Gas rationing was tight and her dad car pooled with other employees to get to work. On Easter Sunday of 1944, he had to work. She thought how awful that he could not go to church that day.
Air raids and blackouts were called in the early night time hours. Since so much emphasis was on 'preparedness', by not having houselights or streetlights lit, then enemy planes, if they did attack, could not see the towns. Janet's family would sit on the floor in the living room, in total darkness, as the air raid wardens patrolled the streets to enforce the blackout. Janet was frightened during these times so one night her dad kept a small flashlight on. However, that tiny light was seen by the warden, their doorbell rang and they were instructed to turn the light off. So the family huddled together and softly told happy stories of past vacations.
The Germans never attacked or bombed New Jersey but the citizens were prepared. The US saw unyielding patriotism during those war years, from collecting cans to rolling bandages. And Ridgefield Park joined the country in many volunteer endeavors for troop support. Thus it was a shock when a German was arrested in their neighboring town.
There was a butcher shop near the corner of Arthur and Main Streets which was just over the Ridgefield Park border into the next town of Teaneck. It was owned by a man of German descent who was well liked by his customers. He sold good meat at an affordable price. Naturally, the women of the neighborhood gathered in his shop and as they waited their turn the women would share family news of their husbands and sons on the European battle front. Unfortunately, the butcher listened carefully to every conversation, eliciting information as to troop withdrawals, troop placements, military transport schedules...while he was cheerfully waiting on his eager customers. Then during a break in customer crowds, the butcher would secretly and quietly enter his hideout and transmit information to Nazi contacts on his short wave radio. Upon his arrest, the shop was closed and women began to realize they had to watch what they said. It was a very trying time to feel like you could not trust your neighbor.
Yes, war is horrible. Several GIs from Ridgefield Park lost their lives in World War II and those that survived came home permanently marred by their experiences. And now, in 2013, looking back over decades, have wars and rumors of war never existed in some part of the world? Why must nations and people constantly be fighting in wars? Will wars never cease?
The tragedy of wars is the pain... loss of brothers, sisters, moms, dads, families, friends, loved ones...victims of tragedy. When victimized, people fight back for their very existence as a nation or as an individual. When one's freedoms are taken away, one has to fight in a war. But there is catastrophic devastation on either side, whatever the cause of the outbreak. Is there an answer to all this pain?
Of course, Janet knew there is an answer. There is an enemy who stalks this earth and his name is Satan. He incites anger, jealousy, deception, greed and corruption in the minds of people. There will always be wars until the Prince of Peace, the Savior of the world, the Righteous King comes again to earth and sets up His eternal kingdom. Then those who believe in Him will know true lasting peace and joy. She read again the Book of Revelation. This book that had once petrified her so much she could not read it, she read with joy. She knew that Jesus is the only answer. Yes there would continue to be wars and rumors of war but soon Jesus would come.
"Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, 'Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.'" Revelation 21: 1- 4
This morning Miss Wilkins spoke very seriously. She held up the Times and pointed to the picture on the front page. "Yesterday, there was an attack on the United States by the Japanese", she stated. "This happened at a large naval base called Pearl Harbor in Hawaii. This means that the United States is at war with Japan." The picture was indeed frightening, showing flames and smoke rising up from partially submerged naval destroyers.
Janet sat in her chair listening carefully. She wondered what this all meant. She wasn't even sure where Pearl Harbor was. She glanced around at her classmates. Her neighbor, John, who lived near her on Grand Avenue, stared through his dark-rimmed glasses.
"This is a troubling time for our country," Miss Wilkins continued. "Pearl Harbor is in the Pacific Ocean, far away from New Jersey." With that she got up from her chair and walked over to the globe which was mounted near the wall. She spun the globe and pointed first to New Jersey and then to Hawaii. "But our country is involved in a world wide war which will effect everyone."
She was right, because in a few days, war was declared on Germany. The United States was now fighting a gigantic war all across the world, on two continents.... against the Axis of Evil....Germany, Italy, and Japan.
In the weeks and months and years that followed, Janet discovered what war meant to a young girl in New Jersey. True, there was no immediate danger of bombing and concentration camps, but there were scary times, all in the name of 'Prepare for War'. Since Ridgefield Park was located just west of New York City and thus on the east coast, there were air raid drills. This was required because of the danger of German submarine and air attacks. Some of these drills took place during school hours, when all the students (K- 8) filed into the school basement, crouched down on their knees with their arms over their heads. Janet always felt frightened during these drills. In fact, she found herself listening to possible Nazi airplanes flying overhead ready to release bombs.
Her dad had to work long, extra hours because he worked as an accountant at Ford Motor Company in Edgewater, NJ on the Hudson River, right across from Manhattan. Ford Motor was busy manufacturing Army jeeps instead of cars. Gas rationing was tight and her dad car pooled with other employees to get to work. On Easter Sunday of 1944, he had to work. She thought how awful that he could not go to church that day.
Air raids and blackouts were called in the early night time hours. Since so much emphasis was on 'preparedness', by not having houselights or streetlights lit, then enemy planes, if they did attack, could not see the towns. Janet's family would sit on the floor in the living room, in total darkness, as the air raid wardens patrolled the streets to enforce the blackout. Janet was frightened during these times so one night her dad kept a small flashlight on. However, that tiny light was seen by the warden, their doorbell rang and they were instructed to turn the light off. So the family huddled together and softly told happy stories of past vacations.
The Germans never attacked or bombed New Jersey but the citizens were prepared. The US saw unyielding patriotism during those war years, from collecting cans to rolling bandages. And Ridgefield Park joined the country in many volunteer endeavors for troop support. Thus it was a shock when a German was arrested in their neighboring town.
There was a butcher shop near the corner of Arthur and Main Streets which was just over the Ridgefield Park border into the next town of Teaneck. It was owned by a man of German descent who was well liked by his customers. He sold good meat at an affordable price. Naturally, the women of the neighborhood gathered in his shop and as they waited their turn the women would share family news of their husbands and sons on the European battle front. Unfortunately, the butcher listened carefully to every conversation, eliciting information as to troop withdrawals, troop placements, military transport schedules...while he was cheerfully waiting on his eager customers. Then during a break in customer crowds, the butcher would secretly and quietly enter his hideout and transmit information to Nazi contacts on his short wave radio. Upon his arrest, the shop was closed and women began to realize they had to watch what they said. It was a very trying time to feel like you could not trust your neighbor.
Yes, war is horrible. Several GIs from Ridgefield Park lost their lives in World War II and those that survived came home permanently marred by their experiences. And now, in 2013, looking back over decades, have wars and rumors of war never existed in some part of the world? Why must nations and people constantly be fighting in wars? Will wars never cease?
The tragedy of wars is the pain... loss of brothers, sisters, moms, dads, families, friends, loved ones...victims of tragedy. When victimized, people fight back for their very existence as a nation or as an individual. When one's freedoms are taken away, one has to fight in a war. But there is catastrophic devastation on either side, whatever the cause of the outbreak. Is there an answer to all this pain?
Of course, Janet knew there is an answer. There is an enemy who stalks this earth and his name is Satan. He incites anger, jealousy, deception, greed and corruption in the minds of people. There will always be wars until the Prince of Peace, the Savior of the world, the Righteous King comes again to earth and sets up His eternal kingdom. Then those who believe in Him will know true lasting peace and joy. She read again the Book of Revelation. This book that had once petrified her so much she could not read it, she read with joy. She knew that Jesus is the only answer. Yes there would continue to be wars and rumors of war but soon Jesus would come.
"Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, 'Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.'" Revelation 21: 1- 4
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