GIFTS

"You are doing fabulously!" Dr. V., the physiatrist at MaryFreeBed announced on December 4.

Janet, being the perfectionist, grinned but doubted.  Am I really? she wondered.  But she knew Dr. V. was sincere and a realist.  Yes, he was encouraging her.

"I want to make you my poster child," he said with a smile.  "Most people your age give up or deteriorate.  But you refuse to go that route."

"I'm determined to keep improving," she responded.  "I have tremendous faith...that helps!"

But still she wondered and she struggled.  Yes, she heard lots of encouragement from professional therapists, friends and most important, from Dick.  He never stopped telling her that she was making progress, however so slight.  Then why was she so hard on herself?  Why did she become discouraged?  Why did those negative feelings creep into her consciousness?   Why did she frequently battle the insecurities...the fears...the doubts?  She answered her own question...because I have not regained all my pre-cancer abilities, she shouted to herself.  And here it's been 31/2 years!  She still had difficulty walking and using her right arm.  She needed help getting dressed, getting into a car, could not drive, needed help in the kitchen.  In fact, she realized with dread that she could not live alone.  She needed help to survive.  Here she was...a previously independent woman with lots of abilities, always helping other people...and here she was now...dependent on others.  Could she accept that?

Then a small voice whispered in her being.  "I am here, Janet.  When have I left you?  Who was there with you when the cancer diagnosis sounded like a death knell?  Who promised you that you would be healed?  Who provided you with an attentive, healthy, loving husband who has never complained about helping you?  Remember what I promised you?  'In my own time frame'.  Keep exercising, Janet, and keep that positive attitude. Believe in Me....I will never leave you."

Yes, she thought.  Instead of thinking negatively, she owed it to herself to daily remember those blessings.  She began to think about Christmas.  How she had always loved Christmas...the joy, the warmth, the family gatherings, the visits with friends, the lights, the music and caroling, candles, making gifts, baking...all the traditions of Christmas.  And this year she did note improvements in her physical stamina.  Why, she was even doing some baking.  Sure, simple things and with some help...but she did it!  And she was beginning to have energy to entertain family and friends.  And just the other day a friend stood next to her while they were singing Christmas carols and commented, "Janet, your voice is coming back!"  Wow, she thought.

Yes, gifts of Christmas...encouragement from different sources.  That's what the Lord was sending her. Precious gifts to remind her of His presence.  Gifts to tell her to think of joy rather than discouragement.

Yes, she faced challenges.  But no one had easy, carefree lives.  Everyone endured some kind of pain in their lives.  And she realized she wanted to continue to be an inspiration to others whose pain was hidden.  Her incapacities were visible, not painful physically but painful emotionally.  But she could reach out to others through her writings and through direct contact and help them to realize Someone was there to lean on, to help, to uphold and give joy!

First, she decided to start each day by giving thanks for the continual indications of improvement and progress, no matter how small.  Today was her list:
     1.  she was baking Christmas goodies (with some help)- 7 layer, English toffee, pecan tarts, Spritz
     2.  she could bake a pie (Thanksgiving pumpkin chiffon), even rolled out the pie crust
     3.  she helped Dick stuff and stamp and organize the Christmas letter
     4.  she was doing all the laundry and folding (except big sheets)
     5.  climbing up and down stairs was a challenge but getting easier
     6.  her stamina had increased - exercising, walking, desire to tackle increased physical activities
     7.  her desire for reading kept increasing
     8.  companionship with Dick was a blessing
     9.  ever expanding her circle of friends
   10.  writing with her left hand continually showed improvement

Today's list was a start.  Yes, Christmas was joy and that thought alone lifted her spirits.  For decades she had experienced the wonderful joyful presence of the Lord during Christmas.  It was as if God sends a fullness of His presence toward earth to remind us of His most precious gift - the baby Jesus who came to save His people from our sins so that we will be with Him in glory forever!  What a gift! What joy that gift brings to us.

She was reminded of the recent sermon she heard last Sunday.  The Wise Men had arrived in Jerusalem looking for the baby.  They had followed the star "and asked, 'Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews?  We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.'"  Matthew 2:2
"Then Herod called the Magi secretly and found out from them the exact time the star had appeared. He sent them to Bethlehem and said, 'Go and make a careful search for the child.  As soon as you find him, report to me, so that I too may go and worship him'.  After they had heard the king, they went on their way, and the star they had seen in the east went ahead of them until it stopped over the place where the child was.  When they saw the star, they were overjoyed."  Matthew 2: 7-10

Yes, joy, real joy, joy in the Lord, takes away fear, disappointment, pain, discouragement and anxiety. The Wise Men confronted that evil king, Herod, but "When they saw the star, they were overjoyed."

Thinking all this through, Janet knew she had to remind herself that encouragement is a gift given to her daily to keep plugging away.  The gift of encouragement then brings the gift of joy which comes from God Himself.  And the gift of joy brings her to the gift of wonder and worship at the manger in Bethlehem.  Such magnificent gifts!  Only God would orchestrate such design.  Yes, a God who gave the greatest gift of all - Jesus Christ.

"Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in strips of cloth and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."  Luke 2:11-14

A BLESSED CHRISTMAS TO ALL!