Now that I'm in my mid-eighties I wish I had taken that course. Of course no college or university teaches "Aging 101" but as I find myself living in the final decades of my life I wish I could have been better prepared for these years. When I was in my fifties I recall the ads proclaiming the joys and freedom of retirement. Play golf, come to Florida, take a cruise, just relax! Dick and I did travel and did have a wonderful 20 year retirement living in our lake house in Canada. But then our world crashed when I was suddenly diagnosed with CNS lymphoma (brain cancer) and told I had seven weeks to live. Miraculously the Lord healed me but the cancer left me with right-sided weakness so that I walk slowly with a cane and am unable to use my right arm. Had I prepared for that? No.
The first challenge we face in "Aging 101" are physical health problems. Our bodies are declining in strength, we are slowly decaying. Depending on our life style, major changes take place. Hearts weaken, lungs fill up, muscles atrophy, major organs break down. And we are filled with pills, undergo replacement surgeries, all to prolong our lives in whatever condition medicine can achieve. A hundred years ago people just died but now the medical world strives to prolong our lives. Many treatments and surgeries are successful and seniors maintain quality of life. But there may come a time when we choose to call in hospice and peacefully let death take over. Are we prepared for those decisions?
Another challenge is dementia. Every 45 seconds someone is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, a tragic brain illness that is rapidly increasing its attack on our senior population. The 'amyloid beta' cells in our brains form plaques and the 'tau' form tangles so that simple messages are not transmitted. There is a protein imbalance in our brains, nerve cells die and the brain shrinks. Thus memory loss and confusion result. In these situations, wives and husbands become caregivers of their spouses. Then as the dementia and Alzheimer's progresses, which it definitely does, the painful decision is made to place the loved one in a 'memory care' facility. After 50 or 60 years of marriage one is left alone knowing the spouse is alive but can't even recognize them. Are we prepared for that pain?
Another aging challenge is financial. Most of today's senior citizens were born around the Great Depression and have respected and closely watched their money. Most of us never went into debt, always paid bills on time, scrupulously kept a budget and thus saved money for retirement. Many of us hold retirement pensions, unheard of today. As our physical bodies deteriorate, hospitalizations and 'assisted living' facilities and 'long term care' facilities become necessary to care for ourselves or our loved one. What a shock when we are faced with the cost! What is deeply troubling is that certain corporations know seniors need these facilities, know these seniors have money and thus the corporations charge exorbitant fees. For example, $12,000 a month for long term skilled nursing care, $4,000 to $6,000 a month for memory care. No one prepared us for these expenditures. Even if we have saved inheritance money for our families we are faced with seeing those funds disappear in order to care for our loved one. Certainly not what we had planned.
Let me share our personal situation. My husband is diagnosed with "mild dementia/Alzheimer's late onset". I am handicapped with right-sided weakness. I am the caregiver. We have been married 60 years and still love each other dearly. Dick does not wander and does not hallucinate, the two red lines. I handle all decisions - financial, appointments, activities, schedules. I have to oversee personal hygiene, medications, diet. I have to monitor my own behavior so that I don't become impatient, irritable, annoyed or critical but constantly show love, support and encouragement. Of course when I am fatigued I 'lose it' and then guilt engulfs me. All caregivers understand. But I was not prepared for this.
The one positive note is that I am a believer. The One who sustains me and surrounds me with love, protection, understanding and strength is my Lord, Jesus. God said in Hebrews 13:5, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." God keeps His promises and He knows my struggles with "Aging 101".
