As we approach our senior years, isn't it amazing how much 'stuff' we've collected? We especially realize this dilemma when we are faced with the ultimate move. The decision comes upon us that we have to down size to an independent living facility. Yes, we are all facing the reality that the home we have loved and lived in for decades is too much to manage. So we choose a senior living apartment size dwelling. But where do I put my 'stuff'? What do I do with all those things that hold memories dear to me? What about the boxes and boxes of photos? Monumental decisions have to be made.
This summer Dick and I came to a very emotional and wrenching decision. Since 1985 we have been owners of a beautiful piece of lakeside property in the little rural village of Elgin, Ontario, Canada. We discovered this undeveloped gem in the 1970s as we vacationed on Sand Lake, part of the Rideau Waterway, originally developed in 1815 by the British as a defensive measure to keep the rapidly expanding United States from invading north. A series of hand-operated locks connect the lakes between Kingston, Ontario to the Canadian capitol, Ottawa. We fell in love with the sparsely populated area, pristine water, friendly loons, abundant bass fishing and the colorful sunsets. In 1990 we built our new home to enjoy retirement with plenty of room for our expanding family. The winters were beautiful with opportunities for cross country skiing, sledding, ice skating as well as quietly watching the wildlife including deer, mink and wolves feeding on the evergreen trees, scurrying about in the snow and venturing out on the 3 feet of ice covered lake.
In 2009 we bought a condo in Holland, MI because, as US citizens, we could only live 6 months of the year in Canada, due to new rules following 9/11 when the terrorists passed through the Canadian border. But we planned on spending summers at our beloved property.
But now, in this year of 2018, I am physically weak due to my bout with CNS lymphoma (brain cancer) in 2010 that I miraculously survived and Dick struggles with mild dementia. Plus we are in our eighties. We spent a month there this summer and the realization hit. What are we doing here....alone.... with closest neighbor 1/2 mile away. We are vulnerable to injury and isolated from emergency assistance.
We finally realized the time has come. We left our lakeside home and we are NOT returning. Not an easy decision...lots of emotional tears. This is the place we dreamed about and developed ourselves...added cabins...tractor shed...boat house....perennial gardens.....trails through woods.....constant care of our one mile lane....with the ultimate purpose to create the perfect vacation spot for our family. But we now realize we can't independently stay there any longer. It is not possible. We are OLD! No one likes to admit the reality. But we must. So we have left our precious lakeside home to our family and thankfully, they are already enjoying it this summer.
Having made the BIG decision, we purged closets, drawers and cabinets of all that 'stuff' that has no use anymore. As I struggled through 'stuff' I constantly had to be reminded to throw away. That's hard as that 'stuff' is filled with memories. "Oh, I remember when he gave that to me" or "Remember that party we went to?" or "Oh my, that's a picture of me as a Brownie Girl Scout" or "Oh Dick, there you are on the lifeguard stand at Spring Lake" and on and on. Memories linger......we don't forget. So we continued to sift and throw, make decisions, yet stubbornly set aside just a few pieces of 'stuff'.
For example we kept my press releases from my singing career tucked in the piano bench. Dick left plaques honoring his years as an elementary school principal on the walls of the loft. Tucked in drawers are souvenirs of the NY Yankees and NY Giants. And hidden in a closet are copies of stories and magazine articles I wrote as well as some of Dick's white water canoeing and ice hockey equipment. We trust our family will enjoy memories of us and know the lives we lived.
We did our best to get rid of our 'stuff', but probably didn't throw enough away. And now I am painfully reminded that I've never seen a U Haul pulled behind a hearse!
