Have you ever asked "Why am I here?" or "Where did I come from?" or "What's going to happen to me......if........?"
I've asked those questions....yes.....many times. Life sometimes appears so complex, so challenging, so unpredictable.....that we wonder.....and subsequently search for an answer.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about Creation.....how this earth was formed.....how we humans came to be......how amazing the way our physical bodies function.......how our minds, emotions, and bodies are intricately connected.....how we are all created with a hunger in our soul for a living God.
The search, of course, brings me to reading the Bible again and again. It never ceases to amaze me that as often as I read scripture over and over, the more I gain from it.
It all begins with Genesis chapter one......"In the beginning". This has become a controversial chapter mainly due to evolutionary thinking in our culture. Having been brain washed with Darwin's theories in school, I remember, as a teen, driving along the Delaware Water Gap in New Jersey and thinking....."It took millions of years for the Delaware River to carve through that mountain. How did that happen?" And then I would look at the river and wonder why the river has stayed at the same level for hundreds of years and never gotten any deeper. I thought 'evolution' kept evolving. Hmmm.
But over 30 years ago I was challenged by some 'creationists' to think of Genesis in a literal time frame. That God, in His infinite wisdom and unequaled power, created all there is of heaven and earth in just 6 literal days. It was quite a step for me, but as I looked at various rock formations and vast differences in land geography, I began to say, "OK, I'll try thinking all this was created in 6 literal days, only 10,000 years ago by Almighty God."
Then my thoughts went to the amazing miracles I've read about in the Bible. What about the 'loaves and fishes' and 'Jesus calming the storm' and 'raising Lazarus from the dead' and the 'Virgin Birth' and 'Jesus resurrection'. And think about 'the Flood' and 'the parting of the Red Sea'. Was I going to throw all those miracles away or did I really think they happened? Then if God has the power to perform all those miracles.......surely Creation in 6 days only 10,000 years ago is an easy job.
My next question was "Why? Why did He do all those amazing miracles?" And the answer my consciousness keeps repeating......."because He has a plan."
Now I can speak personally You've all heard the story of my experience with brain cancer......my sudden diagnosis on July 8, 2010 with CNS lymphoma a "lethal, aggressive, rare cancer" located in the left thalamus of my brain and being told on that day "Janet, you have 7 weeks to live!" And when told that, I remembered the beautiful vision I had of Jesus the night of May 26, 2010 (just 6 weeks prior to my cancer diagnosis) when Jesus came and spoke to me saying,"You will be healed, BUT on My own time frame."
And here I am.....2017......still alive, with clear mental faculties, total memory recall and NO SIGN OF CANCER! In fact my oncologist in Holland MI told me this year when I saw him for my annual update appointment, "Janet, your cancer experience is unprecedented. Of all the patients that I have known with CNS lymphoma, you are the only one I've known to live this long. If those patients did in fact survive their initial diagnosis they never survived more than 31/2 or at the most 4 years. Here it is 7 years since your diagnosis and we see no sign of cancer. This indeed is a miracle."
Yes, the miracles in the Bible are wonderful. But when a miracle happens to me.......Wow. Now it's personal......now I know what a miracle feels like. It is real! Jesus is real and He healed me!
Of course I wonder, "Why? Why me? Why didn't God perform a miracle on all those younger women. Why give me the 'miracle'?" And the answer my consciousness keeps repeating........."because He has a plan".
Yes, God has plans for each one of us and that plan is for the 'good'. As I daily struggle with my physical disabilities resulting from the brain cancer I, like Paul, pray for healing and deliverance. I still walk with a cane, still struggle climbing stairs and walking over uneven ground, cannot totally use my right hand and arm, even struggle turning over in bed, struggle opening heavy doors, struggle with living in a right-handed world, become frustrated with difficulty dressing and performing ordinary household chores, everything takes longer for me to do........yes.......I keep wondering........Why Lord? Why have You healed the cancer and left me with all this physical inability? And the answer my consciousness keeps repeating........."because He has a plan."
God created everything and everyone. His plan is beyond my inept human mind. But God knows what He's doing. He has a plan and, as I communicate with Him each day, I pray that I am abiding in His plan.
The Lord reigns, He is clothed with majesty; the Lord is clothed, He has girded Himself with strength. Surely the world is established, so that it cannot be moved. Your throne is established from of old; You are from everlasting. Psalm 93: 1-2
