Christmas 2012

CHRISTMAS 2012   by   Janet Baird Weisiger


She shouted, "I did it!"

The 'Seven Layer' ingredients sat in the pyrex baking dish ready to be placed in the oven.

"Do you want me to put it in the oven?  The dish is heavy and I don't want you to burn yourself on that hot oven."  Dick was concerned.

"No, I want to do it myself!"  She responded with determination.

Dick groaned.  "I've heard that before!"

The goodies were placed in the oven without mishap and she let out a forceful "Alleluia!"

Yes, she had done it and oh, it had felt so good to be able to bake!  It was Christmas time and baking goodies was part of Christmas!

Christmas Day was a mixture of family and noise.  Neatly wrapped gifts quickly turned into piles of torn paper and bows littering the floor amidst giggles and whoops of joy.  She sat there smiling, able to laugh and pet the two chocolate labs at her feet.  This was a good Christmas, she thought.

As the adults gathered about the kitchen table sampling the luscious hors d'oeurves of warm Brie cheese and crackers, she suddenly wept.

"Do you think I'm deformed and unattractive?" she asked in a broken voice.

Five pairs of eyes stared, confusion on their faces.  "Why do you even ask that?"

She stammered and pointed to her arm and leg.  "I still can't walk well and my hand is kind of useless."

One of her daughters spoke with enthusiasm.  "Mom, how many people say you are an inspiration, how many people say your face glows, how many people say they see Jesus in your smile?"

She laughed through her sobs and thought.  Yes, she had heard those comments.  Then why did she have these moments of discouragement?

Then, the answer came loud and clear.  No one stated it but she knew.  Pride!  All her life she had gone to great energies to try to look good.  She had always known she wasn't beautiful by Hollywood standards but she had kept trying.  Now, at this time in her life, two and a half years post cancer, God showed her very pointedly what was important.  Not physical beauty, not perfect togetherness, not the best clothes or make-up, but all God wanted was to see His love show through in her.  That was His purpose in bringing her through the ravages of brain cancer.

Pride!  Yes, pride.  That ugly, self-centered word that caused her to feel clumsy, deformed, unacceptable, unwanted, unable and unworthy.  She had to let go of that pride.  So what if she couldn't walk perfectly, so what if she couldn't wash the dishes with ease and speed, so what if she had to shake hands with her left hand, so what if she took five minutes to answer the door instead of the speedy thirty seconds!  She was alive.  She had experienced intimacy with her Lord.  She now realized she had a unique opportunity to share the goodness, mercy, grace and love of God with others because she knew Him!

During the next few hours the rest of the family gathered around the table.  She felt God's presence bursting forth from within her as she laughed and joked with the teenagers.  And joy of joys...they responded to her not with disgust or revulsion but with total acceptance.

"Thank you, God," she whispered.  "You have taught me another lesson and I have willingly accepted it.  What a loving Christmas gift from You, my wonderful God."