CHAPTER NINE
THE
LOON SONG RINGS IN OUR EARS
Proverbs 20:7
“The righteous man walks in his integrity; His children are blessed
after him.”
As I look back on those first
weeks in Upstate Hospital, I am overwhelmed by the dedication, support and love
showered on me by my family. Every day,
except the few days Dick traveled to our place in Canada for maintenance
projects, he was at my bedside. Every
day! Here is a guy who passionately
loves our place in Canada, active and athletic, in super physical shape, always
doing something physically challenging, who spent four months sitting at my
bedside.
He fed me, toileted me, encouraged
me, prayed with me, brushed my teeth, and never complained. He was my protector, companion, caregiver,
friend and devoted husband. Even though
I had trouble speaking, looked like an old sick woman, grew whiskers on my face
due to the steroids, had unkempt thinning hair, no make-up, and probably
smelled sometimes, yet he still continued to love me! I smiled a lot for him because I knew my
smiles comforted him. I realized how much he gave up for me. I would sometimes ask him why he stuck with
me.
Dick’s answer was always the same.
“I said ‘I do’ over 50 years ago. Why should
I opt out now? I love you and I want to
do everything possible to help you get well.
I have no intention of leaving you.”
God was in our marriage!
Another positive attribute of Dick
is that he was a teacher and elementary school principal in our town in New
Jersey plus a swimming instructor and lifeguard during the summer months. His skills as a teacher and swimming
instructor have been invaluable to me in my recovery.
Our son and three daughters proved
devoted to me and tirelessly helped me.
Both Carin and Diana (both teachers, so their summers were flexible)
drove and flew several times from Michigan.
Carin’s husband, Kurt and their children Jacob, Hannah and Jared had to
tolerate Carin’s absence. Diana’s
husband, Dave, and their children Katherine, Danny and Will had to make the
same adjustments. Beth, who lives in the
Adirondacks with her husband Bruce, changed her work schedule and their girls,
Kirsten and Caroline, had to be independent.
Glenn, his wife Stephanie, and their four young children, Grace, Emily,
Luke and Sophia showed incredible love as I invaded their home between
chemos. I realize the sacrifices the
entire family made.
Beth, Carin and Diana took turns
staying in my hospital room at night.
Here I was, an extrovert who thought nothing of singing solos and
speaking before thousands of people, afraid to be alone in my hospital room at
night! My illness definitely affected me
psychologically, emotionally, and physically.
Glenn could not stay overnight
because of his new job but he stopped in frequently during the day and evening
to give me words of encouragement and hope.
And, of course, Stephanie had these family members staying overnight in
the midst of four young children and Glenn starting a new job. A lot of stress and tension for everyone, but
it made me realize how much my children loved me. I even asked myself, “Would I have done the same for my mother?”
One night shortly after I told the
girls that I was okay to be alone at night and they should stay home and get a
good night’s rest, I had a drug reaction.
I had asked for a sleeping pill, something I had never taken before. I
had such difficulty sleeping at night I thought that medication would help. Well, I sure know now why I don’t take
sleeping pills!
I woke up suddenly in the middle
of the night with a bad dream. The
“Ricotta” army was in battle with the “Manicotti” army! These warriors of pasta, cheese and spaghetti
sauce fought in my bed. How absurd, and
how silly. But it upset me so much that
I begged two night nurses to stay by my bedside until the fears went away. Later on when I told the family, we all had a
good laugh.
In mid-summer Dick went north with
Carin for a couple of days to work on some maintenance projects on our property
in Canada. He enjoyed the lake and the
peace and joy that we always shared.
After all the anxiety of my illness and the possibility of my dying,
Dick had suffered emotionally. He was
overjoyed to go back to Canada.
He shared a personal note with me
after he returned. “The loons were so
wonderful, singing and calling all night…
I wept when I heard them,” he said.
CHAPTER TEN
THE LIGHT OF JESUS
John 1:4
“In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.”
Toward the end of July I felt led
to write a blog on Carepages. I did not
have the energy physically to type it myself, so Dick helped out by typing my
words for me. The mental fatigue from
this experience was a shock to me.
Writing had never been difficult for me and I always had the ability to
adequately express myself. This first
blog took a precious amount of time, but I did it.
Mom's first blog
Posted Jul 24, 2010 4:00pm
Dear family, friends and lovers of Jesus,
This is the first blog that I am able to dictate with my husband, Dick,
writing it. Thank you all for your LOVE, KINDNESS, and CHRIST's friendship. As
you know, Jesus reached out to me in my illness. HE is continuously doing
wonderful miracles for me. For example last evening (July 23) the floor was
unusually noisy and quite busy and ---lots of (pee) calls by everyone.
Listening carefully the floor became unusually quiet.... I was praying for each
patient’s wellness. After the floor quieted down the night nurse commented on
the peacefulness. She had never known it to be so quiet.
I have a light that shows brightly in my prayers. The light is JESUS! I
feel that light stroking faces and making people love Him.
Keep praying for all the chemo patients on this floor (10th floor at
Upstate Hospital). I am privileged to be here! I will continue to pray for you.
I love you ALL! JESUS is the answer!!! Love, Janet
The family had brought in a CD
player so I frequently spent my night hours listening to music. Much of it was familiar praise music, my own
CD of Janet and Jane music and also Josh Groban.
This one particular night, I was
feeling pretty good and listening to Josh Groban. So as his clear, steady tenor voice filled my
room, I moved my left hand in time to the music, in a director’s stance. The night nurse came in the room to take my
vitals and we both laughed. How I
enjoyed that music.
Over the next few days, the
doctors began monitoring the steroid medication and fluid intake carefully
because of my sodium levels. The family
was kept informed but I just went along with the doctor’s decisions. When you are that ill and incapacitated, you
can’t fight ‘city hall’.
I was also under daily physical
and occupational therapy. There were
days when I was so drained physically I struggled to move. But that inner determination would not give
up as I followed the therapist’s directions.
Beth described one of these
sessions.
Right before Dr. M.'s visit, 3 women with OT & PT had come in to
work with Mom (because, of course, in the hospital it seems like nothing is
happening and then *BAM* Everyone has to come in at once). The women all waited
for Dr. M. to leave and then helped Mom with some walking practice. It takes
one on each side, both of them talking Mom through each step and each helping
her push her right foot forward to get Mom to walk.
Today they walked across the room to the door, turned around and walked
back to the chair - stopping to take a break in another chair halfway back.
They were happy with her progress - and told her she did much better than
Friday. After the walk, they helped Mom to stand and then had her play Connect
4(card game) while standing. Combining those 2 things takes tons of effort!
As I have mentioned, the staff at
the hospital were super. The family all
agreed that Oncology nurses have special gifts of caring. Beth mentions one example.
For the past few days, Mom's been very lucky to have an extra wonderful
nurse, Amanda. Yesterday she was here with Mom for a double shift: 7am-11pm and
this morning she was back at 7am! Amanda has been so fantastic, patiently
explaining all the drugs and procedures and really listening and spending time
chatting with Mom. We are continuously so impressed with everyone here at the
hospital - if you've got to be in a hospital this is the place to be!
My hospital room became a
decorated wonder. Over 200 cards
wallpapered the walls and several ‘prayer blankets’ kept me warm and cozy. Beth described the following.
When I came in this morning, I brought a couple packages with me that
had arrived for Mom. She received another beautiful prayer shawl from my
mother-in-law and the prayer shawl committee at her church. The other package
from good friends, the Wojciks, contained a beautiful blanket decorated with
photos of the family and scenes from the lake in Canada! Mom insisted that she
have the new shawl on her lap and the blanket laid out on the bed for everyone
to see when they come in - there is always a parade of nurses, doctors, and
staff coming in all day long.
I was led to be prayerfully
concerned about the other oncology patients.
I received so much love and support from Jesus that I wanted other
cancer patients to experience that also.
Mom has asked me to tell all of you about the JOY she has every night
praying for everyone in Oncology at University Upstate. She prays for all the
patients to see the light of Jesus every night. Every night there is more peace
and the entire floor gets quiet. Mom sees the light of Jesus beaming down upon
everyone at the hospital. All the nurses love Mom and enjoy her positive
attitude. The nurses come into Mom's room and talk about Jesus. They all say
how there is a certain peace and beauty in Mom's room.
Mom is scheduled to receive more chemo tonight and they will boost it
3X's from before. Her outlook is great! We will keep you all posted.
Glenn
My chemo continued on a regular 2
week schedule.
Mom just asked that I write that the whole time she was receiving the
chemo, she saw the Light of Jesus!
Beth
Toward the end of July, the
Oncology case manager came and talked with me.
She outlined the plans for me to go the Rehab on the 2nd
floor of Upstate Hospital. She also
mentioned that I would start spending time at Glenn’s house between chemos in
September and October. The thought of
finally leaving the hospital for short times overjoyed me. As a nurse I realized the gravity of my
physical illness considering I remained a patient in the hospital for six
weeks. Actually, the total time I spent
at Upstate was four months with two short breaks in September and October. But as of the end of July I didn’t know that
yet.
The case manager was a lovely
caring woman. I shared my story with her
about my dream/vision on May 26. She
responded with tears in her eyes that she was greatly moved by that vision and
added that she then understood why I had physically improved beyond the medical
prognosis. It was another indication to
me of how powerfully God was healing me.
Toward the end of July I began to
experience real progress in my walking.
I could actually move my leg!
Considering how helpless I was right after the biopsy I rejoiced as I
began to see physical changes.
Janet's latest blog-Thursday
Posted Jul 30, 2010 10:12am
Something happened today--there was a change! I believe in a physical
healing. God has brought many miracles to my body in the last two weeks. But
today my therapist, Vicki, convinced me that I could do it! You see, God
promised these wonderful physical healings in the body. But He wants us to do
our little part every day. By working with science we learn to wake up the body
little by little. That's what I am doing! It's still spiritual and I still see
the LIGHT of JESUS' love in my picture dream. But now He is transforming my
energy to what He knows I can do myself. I truly believe that He is going to
work me out of here by the fall--or earlier! He is an awesome God and we are
going to watch Him work. Please keep praying! I have established the most
wonderful group of friends and professionals. Their knowledge is superb. I have
been at the heart of God and He has been the most privileged life experience.
God has so much for us and all He wants us to do is LOVE Him! His love
is everything! HOLD HIM IN YOUR HEART!
Wednesday night, two night nurses came to me separately and told me how
they loved coming into my room while I'm sleeping and observe my smiling face
on the pillow -- they receive calmness and energy!
Love, Janet
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